Why "Scandal" Is So Popular

This year people marveled that the 3^rd year season premier of “Scandal” attracted over 12 million viewers and that the show has generated twitter and viewing parties all over the country. The show is about a public relations guru and her on-going affair with the President of the United States. Stories about women who find love and sacrifice it for the greater good are nothing new – but this story seems to have captured the attention of everyone, especially women of color. If you call one while the show is on, you might get hung up on! You might still find a lot of people who have never seen it, but I doubt you can find many people who have never heard of it.

The publicity has been incredible and you've seen Kerry Washington, the actress who plays the lead character Olivia Pope go from being considered a journey woman actress to a star in her own right. The outfits she wears on the show have caused American seamstresses to turn their hands into pincushions in their haste to produce knockoff outfits overnight. The Prada calfskin tote in white and tan are the most sought after items on earth right now – there isn't a SINGLE Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus or Saks that has it in stock in the country. You can find a needle in a haystack before you'll find a white trench coat.

Well, this is only my theory, but I haven't heard anyone dispute me on it. Let me take you back in time.

It was the summer of 2011 when the world was inundated with stories about Muammar Gaddafi's “obsession” with Condelezza Rice. Some reported that he had a room peppered with pictures of her, clippings of her triumphs, a movie about her background and travels that was longer than “The Godfather”, and that he showered her with diamonds and asked her to be his queen. It turned out that much of that was overblown, the room was actually a binder, the diamonds were actually one ring, and the film was a 60 minute video tape. It doesn't matter – I said it at the time and I will repeat it – every woman should know such adulation! He called her his beautiful African princess, he said that he admired her, that he enjoyed watching her tell others what to do, and that he liked the fact that she had so much power and was so intelligent. Count the number of times somebody has told you that! If you still have fingers left, that is the answer to the question about why women are drawn to the television show “Scandal” with such cult-like devotion. The show began a few months after that revelation.

In every episode you see a woman who owns her own successful business that spends each week saving the world from public relations nightmares, all the while meeting the President in the Oval office, or a tech closet, or a secret home in Vermont for their rendez-vous! You wonder how she has the time – her clothes are impeccable, the weave is never out of place, and that handbag never even has a smudge on it. She's a woman of African descent who tells everyone what to do, they all listen to her, and when the show is over, order is restored. You can't find that level of fantasy everywhere.

So, if you're planning on asking a sister out on Thursday night, be prepared for an early evening – she may have a standing reservation at a Chicago viewing party – cause “Scandal” is one show we don't intend to miss!!!

American Hustle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let me say out of the gate, this movie is a contender and I recommend it highly – but, let me add a caveat – I like David O. Russell's stories about regular people in unusual circumstances, and this movie is very good. What this movie misses is the rich character development that I have come to expect after years of being spoiled by the fabulously lush and detailed storytelling of other con artist and gangster movies I have seen in the past.

The movie is about a con-man who seems to find himself in a lot of trick bags because of the women he runs with. The movie starts by showing you how he found himself obligated to cooperate in a sting operation because his girlfriend (Amy Adams) fails to heed the cardinal rule of the con – cast the net and let the fish come to you. So, at the outset you can see that his work life is very complicated. We then meet his wife – a beautiful and dangerous idiot who keeps his homelife exciting, if not mind boggling. She brings new meaning to the phrase “ A woman should surprise her husband everyday”. That many surprises would shorten anyone's life,

Here are the lessons you will learn from this movie:

Don't hang around people who aren't that bright – life is too short to try and make sense out of non-sense!

You don't have to tell everything you know! – discretion is always going to be the better part of valor!

Give yourself the same advice you would give your best friend! – don't make decisions with your heart when only cold hard reason will do

Don't be a weak antelope! - the devil never sleeps

Get a job! - there is no such thing as a free lunch

Most importantly – do your homework! Don't take things at face value.

The movie is also about an overly ambitious FBI clerk who decides that he's going to give himself a promotion. The guy lives at home with his mother and has a girl throwing herself at him that he doesn't want anything to do with. He's trying to better himself despite the fact that his boss is trying to keep his feet on solid ground. He has a brilliant, but poorly thought out scheme. It's going to cost a fortune and there aren't enough experienced people to carry it out properly. He allows himself to fall in love with the con man's girlfriend and that's another big mistake.

The con artist's girlfriend is a conundrum. She seems pretty dedicated to this guy – he may be smart, but he reeks of smarminess – he's ugly, he's barely making ends meet, he's married -and worse of all – he's pimping her to keep his idiot wife in diamonds and furs. I wish I would!!!

Perhaps the only person you can feel sorry for is the mark in this little escapade – the mayor of a small town who dreams of revitalizing his community with a giant casino that will turn the streets to gold. He seems to have an honest motive, but like the FBI agent, he isn't sure how to do this, and he doesn't ask for help.

I would like this movie a little more if there had been more background, maybe more voiceovers – something to give me more frame of reference. The characters are fairly well developed, but you are really expecting more. I had too many questions in my mind at the end of the movie to make it #1.

Let me talk a little about the music. A good movie has actors who can tell the story wordlessly, a compelling dialogue, and music that that makes the story multi-dimensional, so I take the music part as seriously as the rest of the story. This movie has some great old songs you will be pleased to hear again - “ A Horse with No Name”, “Does Anyone Really Know What Time it Is?”, “I Saw The Light”, “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart”, and a Duke Ellington classic “Jeep's Blues”. Sadly, only the last song listed is on the official soundtrack. If this were my world, all soundtracks would have to include all of the songs in the movie. I've been mad about this lack of thoroughness since “Mary Poppins”.

Right now this movie is on my “best picture” list next to “12 Years A Slave” and “Gravity” but this weekend I am going to see “The Wolf of Wall Street” and I must admit “American Hustle” might get bumped down a bit, but it's still compelling – go see it.



 

 

 



12 Years A Slave

 

 

 

 

I set aside the day to see “12 Years A Slave”. The story is based on the autobiography of a man who was a free negro living in Sarasota, New York with his family twenty years before the Civil War broke out. He found himself cajoled to work in DC and was kidnapped and sold into slavery and spent twelve grueling years dealing the harsh reality of the deep south.

First of all – take the ENTIRE box of tissue with you to this movie. The theatre is going to be so quiet, all you're gonna hear is other people crying. There were about fifty of us at this screening and we all sat together. I've read “Gone With the Wind” and “Roots” and seen the movies many times each and let me tell you – those were the Disney versions of slavery. This strips away the fallacies and brings up the bright lights on the inhumanity that slavery came to represent. You will leave the movie a changed person.

While it is true that there is a beating, or a lynching in just about every single solitary scene in this movie, there are a couple of scenes that give you hope. By the way, what version of the Bible were they reading? Is there a Slave Owners abomination of the King James that I've never heard of – don't you have to wonder how people became Christians if that's what they heard day in and day out? The main character does something at one point that leaves the biggest and longest cliff hanger of all time – if you ever said “How is he going to get out of this?” in your life, you're going to say it and mean it down to your socks at one point while watching this movie. It's in the middle of the movie and you realize there is much more to tell, but you can't see how this episode will resolve.

The heart of the movie is really about the freeman sold into slavery, the female slave he meets, and the slave master. It's also about money, property, and production quotas. The female slave on the plantation regularly picks 500 pounds of cotton a day. Maybe we needed a wider wide shot, because it's hard to believe that there is 500 pounds of cotton on the plantation at all, much less enough to pick that much and more by yourself everyday. By comparison everyone else is coming up short. The line for whippings gets longer everyday because she is literally a cotton picking machine. She garners the master's favor in many ways because she can do something the others can't. He even tells his wife not to try and come between the two of them, because it's no contest.

The main character starts off in the deep south at a plantation that seems brutal enough, where he deals with wood. His master, however, seems to be relatively kind. Unfortunately, he winds up crossing a line he can't afford to cross and we all get to see how completely alone you are as a slave. There are no options available for you and maybe only one person on the whole plantation is going to help you. After his brief encounter there, he is sold to a cotton plantation down river, where you don't see anything other than brutality, beatings and lynching in every scene. At one point, he is rented out to a sugar plantation, and while sugar is the worse field to work, he does find some solace there.

The brutality and manipulation and deep seated cruelty is what will make it hard to take. You haven't seen a movie with this much brutality since “The Passion of the Christ”, and if you didn't see that, you may not be ready for this. I suggest a long leisurely dinner with friends afterwards as I had, to unwind and decompress. Don't go back into the streets right after watching this – take some time to relax and remind yourself that its a movie.

After many fits and starts, the slave is finally returned to his life. He finds that his children are grown and his wife has been patiently waiting for him all of this time. He lived out the rest of his life helping the abolitionist movement. In fact, that's why the book was written. It was an unimpeachable account of his life in the deep south. After watching that movie, looking at what has been accomplished and what remains left to be done, I think I would have left the country for Canada, but I applaud his decision to remain.

I also watched the TV One Special about the movie and the debate on how old you need ot be to see it. I think it depends on how old you were when you learned about slavery and what you learned about it. I really started learning about it in fourth grade. There were so many specials about that and the civil rights movement and the 10^th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination and the 4^th anniversary of the Martin Luther King Jr. assassination and the RF Kennedy assassination that we covered a lot of material. I recall that even then some people downplayed the role of slavery in building this country and its importance in an economic sense. We went to the State capital in 4^th grade and saw Abraham Lincoln's papers and recreations of the Gettysburg Address and the 2nd Inauguration speech. I think people in my class could have handled it. I'm not sure what children are being taught now about slavery and I don't see those same specials and books.

It's clear that no amount of money or time, or education can every really make up for all that our families have lost. I think that free therapy for the children of the slaves and even the children of the slave owners would be a good start. I also think that it is imperative that ALL organizations that benefited from the slave trade be rooted out and exposed. I realize that most of those organizations went out of business, but I will bet they morphed into something, because slavery was big money, and it had to go in someone's pockets. It's time we all learned the truth because the issue isn't going anywhere.



Why the Affordable Care Act is Important

When I was in college I worked for a company that offered insurance to all employees who worked 35 hours a week or more. This did not include me because I was only working 20 hours a week and I was on my parents insurance at the time. A few months later, the company decided to give the employees a stipend to buy their own single coverage health insurance and let the employees purchase dependent insurance on their own. They decided to only provide a stipend for the employee coverage because if they paid a larger stipend for employees who had dependents, this would #1 – cost more money, and #2- cause the single employees to revolt, and #3 – were concerned that it may be considered discriminatory In my opinion, it was a huge mistake – the majority of the employees didn't purchase insurance coverage at all – not even for themselves! They smoked the money up on stupid stuff. They took a chance that they could buy health insurance next month, or the month after that, or “when I really need it”. Well, this was back in the day before HMO plans, which allow pre-existing condition coverage. Most health plans were just major medical add/or medical visits and prescriptions. So, the day comes when they really need health insurance and either they have nothing in place at all or learn that their condition won't be covered at all by the plan, or they learn that the coverage they bought on their own has so much fine print and exclusions, it barely covers anything other than a hospital stay.

MEMO TO SELF – People have a hard time understanding the benefit of intangibles like health insurance unless they are in need of the coverage right then, and usually that is too late. Don't leave it up to people to buy their own insurance, it's not going to go well.

Now, you may say that those employees are grown and should be able to sink or swim on their own if that's what they decide to do. I would agree with you under normal circumstances, but unfortunately people don't act out of their best interest in some cases. Despite the copious training, the Q&A sessions, and insurance fairs that were held, only 20% of the people used that money to get coverage for themselves and/or their family members. People started leaving the company because they needed a job that offered health coverage for their family members. Employees who neglected to get coverage for themselves disengaged and checked out, literally or figuratively. They started to complain about the “skinflints” who ran the business. Why were they such tightwads that they couldn't afford to give health insurance. Employees started to see first hand why insurance was so important when they encountered health issues. If you took a Libertarian view, that's what freedom is all about. In my opinion, life is too precious to take a chance with.

Eventually, the owners sold the business to another company, and the new company resumed offering health insurance in the traditional manner. Order was restored. I see a wave of this happening in the coming months because a lot of companies do not realize how detrimental it will be to eliminate health insurance coverage or drop employee hours below a certain threshold to forestall compliance with the Affordable Care Act. I've been asked about this issue a few times, but I believe that companies that are committed to remaining in business will continue to offer full coverage insurance. While it's tempting to say I'll just pay the fine the government plans to impose ($2,000 per employee per year) if no coverage or substandard coverage are offered, or I'll just let my employees buy their own coverage. Realistically, there is more to it than just handing out some stipend checks and the phone number to the local Affordable Care Act info center or website. If you or a family member became ill without coverage, I'm pretty you'd want to do everything you could. Unfortunately, in a case where you've done nothing, there is nothing to be done.

For those people who found that their health insurance was cancelled as a result of the enactment of the Affordable Care Act, let me illuminate a fact. The point of healthcare reform was to eliminate health care plans that were substandard. If you had a plan that only covered hospitalization, and didn't cover prescriptions, emergency room visits, or therapy – your insurance plan was not going to be saved anyway. The insurance company can't make money selling a product that is no longer allowed. You shouldn't have called that health insurance anymore than SR-22 auto insurance is quality auto coverage – it's barebones coverage that is lambasted in Allstate commercials. Insurance companies have to offer standard plans that include hospitalization, doctor's visits, therapy sessions, prescriptions, and emergency room visits now. Some people saw their insurance costs increase because the standards have been raised. I don't believe those plans should come back, its time to move on to something substantial.

If you live in a progressive state like Illinois, you have the option of selecting a plan from the State of Illinois offerings and you may even be eligible for a subsidy to pay for a portion or all of the coverage. Having seen the coverage offerings, I would suggest that you take the time to choose wisely for yourself and family. You don't have to make a decision today. As long as you enroll by the end of March, you can participate. If you aren't in a progressive state, there are sure to be some protest rallies to get your state legislature to offer insurance plans that partner with the Fed to help subsidize coverage. Please get out your comfortable shoes and attend a rally. Don't miss the chance to get health insurance coverage for yourself or your family during this historic period. As the Vice President, Joe Biden said “It's a big f___ deal!”

The Jungle

I recall my high school freshman English teacher telling me about "The Jungle".  She made the story sound so fascinating that I went to the library and pulled it out that very day. It was, without a doubt, the most incredibly depressing story I had EVER read.  It was a soap opera without escape, and the hardest thing about the story was that the issues were very real and still relevant.  I think that I was the only one to take the bait and get the book in my class, and I wrote a scathing book report about it.  My English teacher laughed at me and said that she expected to see me  standing in the center of a political rally in twenty years.  I didn't wait anywhere nearly that long. 

Going to school in Hyde Park, the one thing we all knew about was the fact that the Swift family lived there and had a mansion in Kenwood that is still the envy of . They were the most well known meat packers in the United States - when you hear the name Armour Swift Eckrich, think about the fact that food comes from Chicago, that's one reason why it's so good!  We used to pass by the Swift mansion when we had a lesson about the wealthy families of Hyde Park.

The Jungle is actually a pretty quick read because there is so much tragedy in it that you are turning the pages to see when something decent is going to happen.  There are some stretches that make you want to toss the book on the ground.  There is, however, something that keeps this book close to my heart at all times - the Food and Drug Administration.  Let me toss a quick "We missed you" out to the food inspection team that was off during the government shut down.

In The Jungle, a man is getting married in Chicago and begins working in various difficult jobs for people who speak little English and have little to no education. One of the jobs was working in the meat packing industry.  The story was written at the beginning of the previous century, and was met with extreme indignation by the establishment.  Upton Sinclair was so widely denounced, he must have felt like Clinton during his time in the White House.  Eventually, Sinclair's tome of a decadent world of capitalistic degradation and oppression caused the passage of laws that would lead to a safer food supply and better working conditions.

I encourage everyone to set aside a weekend and break out the old classic.  Some of you will become vegetarians if you never read this book before, but let me caution you that one of the most dangerous outbreaks of food poisoning recently was related to cantaloupe. Maybe we just need to concentrate on making sure all of the food is fit to eat.  I'd hate to see a world where we couldn't trust anything we put in our mouths - would you?

Don't You Quit!

Reluctantly, I went to see " Gravity" on opening weekend. 

I knew the movie had spectacular special effects and was very well received, but to be honest, I don't like movies where people are abandoned - it's too depressing.  Besides, what's going to happen in a movie where there is only one person against the world - I didn't want to go - but my cousins wanted to see it - so I went with the flow.

I must say that I am glad that I listened to them - "Gravity" is a thoroughly delightful movie, and I actually am recommending that everyone see it.  The movie has an incredible message that everyone, especially in this economy and especially young people - need to hear - it's not over 'til it's over. Don't be surprised if this movie wins "Best Picture"  I liked it that much.

In "Gravity"  Sandra Bullock is an acclaimed scientist trying to carry out an experiment in space. She's one of the best and brightest, everyone else on the crew is there to support her efforts.  The only thing is  - like being on earth, you have to deal with the situation you are in, no matter how smart you are - there's something out there that trumps you.  When I was at the Palmer House, the saying was    "Everyone has a boss.." and that's true.  For us, it was the hotel guest.  For Sandra Bullock, it was space.

In the movie, Sandra Bullock is extoling the virtues of being in the peace and quiet of space, while George Clooney blathers on endlessly about past hook-ups. He was really good in the movie, but his character was everything his public persona makes him out to be - calm, in control, analytic to the point of distraction - someone who took life in space for granted.  He had his own reason for being there, and his leadership is invaluable to the scientist.

Sandra spends her odyssey trying to control her environment, and ultimately, the fight becomes too much of a struggle as she realizes that this peace and quiet that she prized isn't all it's cracked up to be.  She also realizes a bit too late that she was really focused on doing the easy stuff well.  She sees that she doesn't really know what she is doing as she tries to survive - she doesn't even know how to pray.

The great thing about this movie is that it reminds you - or in some cases shows you, that you don't need to do anything special to pray - there aren't really any secret formulas you have to utilize - a  quick "Help a sister out" has always been effective for me.  When you think of something that had never occurred to you before - something that makes you say - "oh - is that going to work, I hadn't thought of that before" - that is generally your answer.  But whatever you do - don't ever quit! Don't keep doing the same stupid thing over and over again - it didn't work the first hundred times, and doing the same thing and expecting a different result is usually a sign of insanity.  Your answer may be just around the corner if you just center yourself and ask for what you want...


When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit-

Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow -

You may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out -

The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It might be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Courtesy of "Don't You Quit", an inspirational poem

Football, baby, Football!!!

When this time of year comes along, my girlfriends are usually pouting and complaining about their men and their addiction to football. This is not an issue that I have, because I've been into football since Joe Namath said the Jets were going to win the Superbowl and he was literally the ONLY thing I saw on TV for the next week. When his prediction came true, he became the football icon of the decade. I don't understand why my friends don't learn more about football – I was bombarded with it, I wanted to see what all the excitement was. My father watches football all the time – most of my friends have at least one brother, a male cousin, a father, something – how do you miss learning about sports???

It's great for your dating life – most guys expect you to grouse and act bored while watching a football game with them. Want to blow their mind? Name the players, tell them what the play should be, and call the ref's call before he does! I've thrown a few brothers into apoplexy pulling that move. First question - “You know what it means to be “off sides” ?” Yeah, I do. Second question “Who taught you about football?” My father wasn't born a principal, you know. Being the girl who enjoys a good game places you on a whole new level.

In fact, my very first boyfiend played football from Pop Warner to the Canadian League to the Seattle Seahawks. We remained good friends forever. I was once watching him play with the Seahawks and they called his name on national TV. My family was so excited, we all called one another. The guy I was with was completely dumbfounded by this – “ You're still friends with this guy???” It was a long time ago, stop tripping.

When Sullivan High School was on its way to the Chicago Public League Championship back in the day, I went to the games if Kenwood wasn't playing. Sometimes, members of Kenwood's football team went to the games too. They went to see a good game, which I can understand. So, I walk into one game with my father, and one of the players asked me “You brought your father to the game?” Actually, my father was the principal of Sullivan at the time. We came to cheer on the troops. It was incredible when they played at Soldier's field, where the Chicago Bears play. Sullivan lost to St. Laurence, but at least they went! Kenwood, well, the less said about that, the better....

I wish Loyola had a football team. As it was, we had to go up to Northwestern when we wanted to see a game, and Northwestern never won a single game when we went out there, standing in the freezing cold at Dyche, which was a stone's throw from Lake Michigan, even closer than Soldier Field. Today, I'll watch Northwestern or U of I to get my college fix. It's mostly about the pros now, so it's all about the Bears, even when it doesn't go well.

I also went to two Superbowls, and I finally had a chance to meet Joe Namath in person and tell him how he brought the game to my attention. He was very nice, took a picture with me, hugged me, the whole bit. I also met Terry Bradshaw and Roger Staubach. It is, without a doubt, the WILDEST WEEKEND on earth. Everyone should go, at least once. But pace yourself, and don't plan on hitting the ground running as soon as you return. A little down time is a requirement.

Anyway, I encourage everyone to learn about football and stop fighing it. It's a great game, even if it is admittedly disgustingly brutal, frighteningly mean spirited, and can leave players with life long disabilities. The NFL is the most profitable sports league on earth, dwarfing basketball, and baseball. It's not going anywhere, so enjoy it.

Football Should Be Played on Real Grass

Robert Griffin III just injured his knee so seriously that he may not be able to return for the 2013/2014 season – that's tragic – it 's criminal in my mind. The man just started playing football – and now he has a major injury that may end his career prematurely. He might have to wait until the 2014/2015 season to return to work. Why? Because the television studios want to get a bright green background on their football fields rather than photograph the beauty of real grass????

Paint the grass green if need be – toss the uniforms and replace them after every game, don't sacrifice the player's limbs in the name of having a beautiful set. Does that make any sense? You can spray paint the lines, use vegetable dye on the field, and stencil a new logo on a grass field. Why would you play on anything else?

Professional athletes are asked to throw themselves on playing surfaces that are about as accommodating as a cement floor. If it were you, your child, your nephew, your friend – how would you feel about it? Isn't the point of OSHA to make sure everyone is working in a safe environment? When are they going to contact the NFL and ask them to straighten up! How painful it must be to have ten guys piled on top of you and your back is against an asphalt ground in a fiberglass helmet.

Think of all of the athletes whose careers could be saved if the players had been working on a surface that was meant for the sport? Are soccer players asked to play on hardwood? Are basketball players asked to play on ice? Are baseball players asked to play on gravel? What have football players done to be treated so disrespectfully? I urge the Football Players Union to take the initiative and fight for their players – no one makes money when the players can't play the game – let them play on real grass and save their legs and ankles!

The Book of Darlene

 

 

It's funny how things work out. I planned on going to see this movie on Friday evening because I wanted to see it at night before heading into the weekend. I always like to start the weekend with a good song on my mind. I wound up seeing “Lee Daniels' The Butler” and the song I was singing was “I'll Close My Eyes” and “Family Reunion”.

This movie is completely different – it's a documentary that deals with the background singers who go unsung, but lend the deep groove you hear in almost every song ever made. This film looks at the careers of Merry Clayton, Judith Hill, Lisa Fischer, and the most heralded background singer of all time – Darlene Love.

Merry Clayton is the one you hear wailing in the back of “Gimme Shelter” with the Rolling Stones, she also sang background on 'Bridge Over Troubled Water”, “It's In His Kiss” and “Southern Man”. She has a sound that you can't recreate with the best music machine. It's very unique.

Judith Hill is the background singer that worked with Michael Jackson on the “This is It” tour that never was. It's generally acknowledged that Judith was about to blow up with that tour, but fate had other plans for her. She's the one Michael tells “I gotta save my voice” in the movie.

Lisa Fischer is one background singer I actually had a chance to meet when she was here in Chicago singing back-up for Luther Van Dross. This was one of my first experiences working with a ticket broker, and I got tickets in the first row of his concert with a girlfriend and two guys we were dating at the time. I was hooked, I haven't been in the back since that day. It was like Luther was singing directly to me. My seat was right in front of his mic stand. Later that night Frances and I were at “The Limelight”, the hot night club of the time – it's called something else now. Luther comes in with his friend and we tell him how much we enjoyed the concert. He was very gracious, but it's clear that he was a little more concerned about unwinding after a night of hard work. The next day I'm at the Walgreen's on Chicago Avenue and Lisa Fischer was there getting some mascara with another backup singer. We recognize one another right away. They ask me how I got the seat in the front, and I asked them about their make-up and those fabulous gowns they wear in the show. They told me something that in years to come, I will hear again and again –their clothes were locked up after the show, and they didn't

 

get to wear the gowns anyplace but on stage. It took a while to understand the rationale behind that, but I get it now. Lisa got to sing lead on her own song, and it won a Grammy and was very popular – we all expected Lisa to become a superstar – she has as great a voice as Whitney Houston.

Now we come to one of the most infamous stories of career domination I am aware of – the story of Darlene Love. Darlene Love sang background on “Johnny Angel” Shelley Fabares hit song, “The Tracks of My Tears”, and “Poor Side of Town”. Darlene sang with a group called The Blossoms and they did back-up for Elvis, Dionne Warwick, The Beach Boys, and Tom Jones. Darlene finally gives her side of the story regarding how Phil Spector used her voice on songs that made The Crystals more famous. The Crystals were a famous girl group who did “Da Doo Ron Ron”. While The Crystals were on the road singing to their fans, their Producer, Phil Spector, was at home making new songs for the girls - and using Darlene's voice and refused to give her proper credit. It was a humiliating turn in Darlene's life. Darlene is actually the voice on “He's a Rebel” with the Blossoms. Following that was “He's Sure the Boy I Love”. Darlene didn't get her title on a song until “Today I Met the Boy I'm Going to Marry”, and Spector offered her $3,000 for total rights to the song.

She took it, and the song went gold, so she wound up getting robbed again. I used to listen to “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”, as a little kid at my grandmother's house because my aunt Elaine used to play it all the time. I've been a Darlene Love fan almost as long as I was a fan of the Supremes. It was sad to hear her talk about how she was taken advantage of. It was like reading that story about Florence Ballard in “Jet” magazine right before she died. No artist wants to see their work go unheralded, and you can feel her pain in this film.

Flash forward to the present day and Darlene Love is a regular guest on David Letterman, sings, acts, and is generally regarded as an icon. She's as big a star as any of the people she covered for in the sixties. She is still out there doing it, and the man who treated her with such disdain is in prison and will be for many years to come. I believe that with their talent that the other singers will get back what they lost, also.

“Avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord.” Romans 12:19

 

 

The Butler

I don't actually compare every movie I see to “The Godfather”. That would be pretty pitiful if I did, because what has a chance of meeting that measure of greatness?

But here's one thing (there are MANY) that make this a gold standard of movies – you got to know the family – and that helped you identify with them. That's what is missing from a lot of movies that are supposed to be family dramas – the relationship part is rushed – that's the only thing that I see that may hold “Lee Daniels' The Butler” back.

The story opens up as a tear jerker – a young boy whose family is torn asunder and he is displaced. There are many cash crops in this country – corn, wheat, sugar, rice – but is there any as closely associated with and murder as cotton? Cecil Gaines has more reasons than most to spend his life wearing polyester.

But the boy learns his lessons well and becomes the only thing that he has been taught to be – a butler to the Leaders of the Free World. One thing about it, though, he had to be the best to get the job, so you can't be mad at that. I've always been told that no matter what you decide to do for a living, be the best at it.

So Cecil rises to recognition through a series of positions and finds himself summoned to the White House to interview for the job. He actually raises the standard, and they already thought that they were pretty hot stuff. He is at the right place at exactly right time – Cecil is a silent witness to the great upheaval that is the Civil Rights movement. From the school integration of the “Little Rock Nine” at Little Rock Central High School to the first celebration of Martin Luther King's birthday as a federal holiday, Cecil is nearby the seat of power with a knowing glance.

The main conflict appears to be between Cecil and his son. Although it is clear that Cecil is proud of his son for going to school and he explains that he will be the first in the family to go, it's not clear that he has ever explained to him how far their family has come, and how easily all of that progress can be wiped away. The son has different ideas about what his newfound freedom will bring – and he spends most of the movie fighting in every battle of the Civil Rights movement he can find – while they may not detail every single battle he takes part in – they make sure the audience knows that he has been arrested more than ten times. I'm pretty sure than anyone's parents would be angry if they sent their child to college and they spent the time behind bars – they could have done that for free.

The other on-going conflict seems to be that black service workers are paid less than their white counterparts. A lot of people may be aware that there is still disparity between male and female workers all over the counry, but most people take for granted that race and color have been taken out of the wage wars. This is possible because the man responsible for selecting the service workers is careful to select only those who would be considered “responsible”, definitely wasn't looking for the uppity kind. Cecil breaks ranks and does the unexpected here.

And that brings us to Cecil's wife, Gloria. Gloria worked at a hotel with Cecil. She is played to the hilt by Oprah Winfrey. While there were some who were disappointed in her performance, I liked Gloria's saucy personality. After the attention brought to the anticipated love scene between she and the next door neighbor (played by Terrence Howard), I guess we'll all have to wait for the Director's cut to see what all the fuss was about.

Gloria is drinking, smoking, and cheating while her husband is working hard to make sure the current occupant of the White House has all of the creature comforts. You know that Gloria is frustrated, but, really, what is she upset about? Her husband has a job – there are a lot of sisters out there who wish they could say the same! What's the point of having an affair with the next door neighbor when he's about thirty cents away from having a quarter?!

I enjoyed the movie, but there were things that were missing – we need to see more of the family interaction – more about the dynamic – and more about the Civil Rights struggle. In “The Godfather” (sorry, there goes that comparison again) when Michael tells Kay about how his father got a famous singer out of his contract with a well known band leader, isn't that everything you need to know to set the family dynamic in place? When Don Corleone tells Michael that women can be careless but men can't be, and when he tells him that he wanted him to be Senator or Governor, not carry on the family business – doesn't that tell you what you need to know about how close they are and the size of his ambition? You don't get that sense and development from this movie. The movie just seems rushed from beginning to end.

You can't cover that much history in two hours. I know that movie makers want to maximize the film's earning potential with frequent showings. I know epic films are almost impossible to make, especially for African American directors, but this is a film that could have really benefited from an extra half hour – even more from an hour. Can you imagine “Malcolm X” being two hours long?

Tell me what you thought....

Step Away From the Cell Camera

In the last year I have witnessed a trend that I find incredibly distressing – people voluntarily entering nude photos of themselves on the Internet. They are saving sex tapes, sending photos of their bodies, and in general adding to the porn industry and sex market, a market that Heidi Fleiss, the famous madam. said was a market that is never saturated. Why??? Are you sure you want to do that??? You already have the story of a former Congressman who learned the hard way that this isn't the best idea, but let me take you back to a simpler time and a larger lesson. I hope that this will help some of us to remember that you don't know what God has in store for you – try and be careful out there.

About thirty years ago, I was getting my first real job and across the country a woman of humble beginnings named Vanessa Williams was about to blast into a superstardom she could never have really anticipated. That summer, the word around the campfire was that we were going to have our very first black Miss America. During the contest it was clear that the two top contenders were both African American – incredibly beautiful and talented and role models for brown skinned women all over the world. At that time, that had never happened. Everyone watched that contest and heard Vanessa Williams belt out “Happy Days Are Here Again” and win the swimsuit competition. She was great, it was amazing and when she won, people all over the world were doing flips and popping champagne bottles. She represented the community and the Miss America Pageant with verve. She was the most popular person to hold the title, unfortunately, she was also peppered with death threats and her security was beefed up like the Presidents. Yes, the Devil is always busy....

Years before Vanessa Williams was the toast of the globe, she took some nude pictures with a photographer who took advantage of her naivete and beauty. He saw a payday and shopped the pictures around, even though he was asked to refrain, and be a human being – no shot of that happening. The photographer found a willing buyer in Bob Guccione, the owner of Penthouse magazine. Guccione paid the photographer a few pennies for the pictures, placed them in Penthouse over the course of two magazines, and made $14 million exploiting this young woman. She made a mistake, it wasn't fatal, she hadn't killed anyone. He purposefully humiliated her, and she was pressured to relinquish the crown. The magazine literally sold like hotcakes, they couldn't print enough copies to meet the demand. It was a real take down, and it seemed that she would never recover.

Thankfully, Vanessa's beauty, talent, and charm eventually took her beyond that tragedy on to the superstardom she had earned and so richly deserved. She didn't know that she would be the first black Miss America, she had no idea what God had in store for her. But God also restored everything that she was meant to have and more. Her tale has a happy ending, but that chapter of despair could have been avoided.

Don't let that happen to you. One day when I'm collecting the Academy Award for writing the Best Screenplay or Producing the Best Picture, made the head of the Department of Labor of the United States of America, named Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, earn the Nobel Peace Prize, receive the Congressional Medal of Honor or the Presidential Medal of Freedom (Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp,. Or what's a heaven for?) I want to make sure I'm not caught up like that. You don't need to recreate all of the mistakes – you can learn from the past and benefit from this cautionary tale.

Is Your House Underwater?

Chances are that your mortgage was backed by Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac – let's hope.

If your mortgage is now underwater and you've sucked up all of the equity like Dracula on a fresh vein, let me walk you through the process of getting out from under, getting some real sleep, and ending the fantasy loop running in your mind of taking a blow torch to your mortgage company – no violence necessary. You can even wrap this up in less than a month – it's true.

HARP – the Home Affordable Refinance Program actually began in 2009 and was put in place by the Obama Administration to help home owners find relief instead of abandoning their life long dreams in the middle of the night. Whether your original mortgage is with Wells Fargo, Bank of America, Citibank, or Chase, it's probably backed by Fannie or Freddie and was sold to a much smaller mortgage company you never heard of. You may still qualify for a HARP. And guess what? If your lender won't process your HARP, you can do it with another lender – don't lose heart, all is not lost. If you have an FHA loan, you may qualify for a Streamline Refinance Loan, which is similar.

One requirement is that you be current on your loan. This is to make sure you have a chance to make your payment more affordable and allow you to save for your other dreams – retirement, college for your children, and the continued quality of home ownership.

Banks are creating their own subtle changes into HARP, so be prepared to shop for the best rates and the qualifiers that relate to you. My advice is to gather all of the material and research before you jump in paying fees and losing time filling out voluminous forms. My other advice is to seek the help of your banker. They've got your money, make 'em work for it. You're a customer, not a vagrant, and if they don't appreciate you – dump them. If no bank makes any loans, they are going to go out of business.

If you need to be pointed in the right direction, please give me a call.

The Great Gatsby

When I was in fourth grade, my teacher already knew that I wrote plays on my own. She also knew that I was particularly fond of one of the stories in our 4^th grade reader. She asked me to take the story and turn it into a play that the students could perform. Since, at the time, the extent of my research library was the Encyclopedia Brittanica in our hallway, I didn't know that there was more to adapting a story to a play or screenplay than translating it into a group of scenes and turning the quotes into lines. I didn't write to the head of MGM as I would write to the President of Johnson Products in high school to ask how relaxers make your hair straight. I learned while watching the Oscars many years ago that there was a science to translating a story to a play or screenplay. Baz Luhrman didn't watch that telecast.

“The Great Gatsby” was a studied translation of F. Scott's Fitzgerald's fantastic ode to the Jazz Age. The decandence, the music, and the heart breaking idealism that you read about in the book are nonetheless brilliantly portrayed in this movie, and I recommend it. I recommend that everyone read the book at least. But you have to read it twice. When I read it in high school, I was appalled by the cavalier manner that Daisy treated her long lost admirer. When I read it recently, all I could think was this guy is a sap. Since the story hasn't changed, I guess that means that I did.

Since Baz Luhrman is famous for his way, way, over the top productions that would make Busby Berkeley cover his face in shame, he was actually the perfect choice to bring this story to life. His depiction of the parties, the clubs, and the opulence of another era where money was spent like water and nobodies became millionaires overnight was actually good. While it's true that Leonardo Di Caprio's Gatsby was no improvement over Robert Redford, Carey Mulligan is a better Daisy. I thought the money was well spent for the most part, but I would have done more with the 3D than Luhrman did. If you're spending that much to make a movie 3D – WORK IT!

You'll want to see the party scenes over again, the preparation for the afternoon tea, and that big yellow car sailing into New York. There was a lot of criticism of the use of Jay z's music, but that music is only briefly sprinkled through the movie – most of the music is true to the time, and I'm pretty sure Jay Z could have written more that could have seemed true to the times also. You will hear more in the previews than you will in the actual film. I suggest seeing the 3D version over the flat – you may as well see what the Director intended, right?

In high school I wrote about “The Great Gatsby”, “Tender is the Night”, and “This Side of Paradise”, so I had no intention of missing this balleyhooed remake. Since the Jazz Age very much resembles the squalor that preceeded the recent downturn that we are still suffering through, I think the story of careless and wanton revelry was well placed. People, especially young people, should see it. It will remind them that people didn't start partying the day after they were born, something I recall my parents telling me back in the day. I showed my neices some “Ed Sullivan Show” tapes so that they could see how Tina Turner sang “Proud Mary”. Some lessons never get too tired to teach, and that's what makes the book a masterpiece and the movie a welcome interpretation.

How to Reject a Job Offer

I have a friend who found himself in a bidding war. Two companies claimed to want him. He wanted one company. He wanted to be the Division Manager for Operations at a food giant. One company had him on their private plane visiting midwest locations while the other drove him around in a town car and placed him in a corporate apartment they have overlooking Lake Michigan and Lake Shore Drive. I wanted him to take the corporate apartment – it was so gorgeous, I wanted to move into it myself. It was 4,000 square feet with an uninterrupted view from the Bahai Temple to the Gary Steelmills. He even had a private elevator. He wanted the private jet so he was pulling the other way – until one of the managers told a very off color joke that made my friend very uncomfortable. He was worried about working there after that. He didn't want to be affiliated with something that he knew might limit his growth at that point.

My friend decided to take himself out of the running by sending a letter to the recruiting manager indicating that he didn't think he was the right fit for the company. He hadn't gotten the offer from the company I liked, but he said he was sure that he wouldn't like spending all day with that guy at the first company, private jets or not.

I mentioned this to my manager at the time, and she couldn't believe what he had done. She explained that a move like that is not the move of a professional at that level. She said he should have kept his options open, gotten the offer from both companies and expressed regret but taken the offer from the company he wanted, after an offer was provided. I had been proud of him for standing his ground. Now I was afraid he would never get an offer that he could accept.

Eventually, he does get the offer from company B along with the apartment, the town car and the driver. Things go very well there and he moves up the ladder to head Operations. At that point the President of company B spends some time with him and explains that they had been hesitant to hire him after the way he blew off company A. This was very surprising to my friend because he had certainly never mentioned that the other company was interviewing him for fear that they would lose interest. The President explained that the interest from the other company was exactly the reason they liked him so much. The two companies were rivals, they traded employees back and forth all the time. My friend explained how he became disenchanted with company A.

The President of company B explained that he was aware of the ploy. It was apparently done at several companies with facilites in areas of the midwest that are not as liberal, or as prepared to see diversity at the senior management level. My friend was a little floored to think that people are still being tested in this day and age, but there it is. The President was a little more gentle than my manager was, but he explained it this way.

It's naïve to think that senior managers in the same industry aren't friends. They went to school together, traded info, hook-ups, discussed philsophies, and definitely trade stories on employment candidates. Since you never know who knows who, it's best to assume that everyone knows everyone and treat everyone with the care you would a close relative. The interview you blow today may lead to problems down the road from companies that you don't even have on your horizon right now. Take a longer view of your career, you'll be stuck with it for decades.

Even Recruiters Get the Blues

Last weekend I had dinner at Joe's with some of my recruiter friends that I mentor. They need assistance finding what they want and are getting desperate. On the other hand I have client applicants who are looking for the right job and they are getting desperate also. I asked a couple to drop by the dinner so that we could all see why nothing was working.

My recruiter friends are experiencing a hard time reaching the qualified candidates and making sure they understand the process of obtaining a job. That's right – recruiters get the blues! It's not like the old days – now a prospect places their resume online and companies call you – but you don't give you the job right away – there are steps:

Screening – usually a recruiter screens the applicants by phone. In my day you talked to them in the evening or over the weekend when their boss was out of ear shot and you could get to heart of their responsibilities. You got to know them – we used to place bets on which of our candidates a client company would hire because we sent the best we found after beating the bushes like the Weather Girls on a manhunt. Now, applicants are contacted by robocall or several assistants who leave messages with your family members. Please make sure the family members are prepped – a lot of family members can make it hard on the applicant if they fail to take a message or don't contact the applicant when the recruiter calls. It's first come, first served, and the applicants who answer their own phone and are able to talk about their experience usually are the first through the door and the first to have the interview and get the job. Back in the day parents took a call from a prospective employer much more seriously – I don't see that as much anymore.

Resume – make sure that resume is polished – ask some other people to look at it. They will notice the typos that you passed over. Ask someone in your field to read it. Not only can they help you polish it, but they might know of a job that you never heard about.

Group appointment – this is usually a test or an elimination tactic to root out those who are really qualified and may do well. Come early, not on time. If they ask you to bring verification material – bring it! If you come in saying your dog ate it or you forgot, the ejector button on your seat has already been pushed. If you're looking for a job, you should have the following at the ready: proof of identity – a state issued driver's license or ID card, proof of eligibility to work in the US – the list was recently expanded, but you can't go wrong with the old stand-bys – your current or expired passport, or a copy of your certified (that means government issued) birth certificate and social security card, proof of education – a bonded copy of your transcripts, your college degree, your high school diploma, or your GED certificate. Many companies are still hiring on the spot, so don't get left behind. Use this time to gather these items and have them ready to present. Don't be the one standing outside with your nose pressed to the glass.

Personal appointment – if you get this far, the situation is yours to lose, so don't lose it. Please go in with the right frame of mind. There has been a recent rash of applicants coming to interviews intoxicated or in some other state of ill-preparedness. You shouldn't have to be told that coming to an interview with a hang over or coked up is a losing proposition. I realize its rough out there, but you can't win if you don't play. You cannot afford to be afraid to go through the interview process.

Now, let me get back to that resume for a second. My friend's daughter, who is looking, and has been for several years, gave me her resume and it was literally incomprehensible. I don't have enough room to list all the things that were wrong with it – she has it posted everywhere from ladders.com to Snagajob.com and she then mailed it all over the globe. It assaulted my eyes like a zoot suit! I tore it in a million pieces and had the waiter bring me a plate so that I could burn it.

It's no joke out there, and some of these mistakes can be avoided. I'm happy to help anyone who needs it – just give me a call.

Everyday Should Be Jackie Robinson Day

 

 

I had a chance to see an advanced screening of “42”, the story of how Jackie Robinson integrated Major League Baseball in 1947. My advice is to go without hesitation, but take your tissues, and plan on having a glass of wine afterwards – it's a great movie, but it is hard to watch that special brand of hatred that just never seems to be subdued...

This account of just SOME of the things Jackie Robinson endured is a lesson in restraint the likes of which we can't really imagine. The fact of the matter is that Robinson was truly a diamond in the rough. I don't even know anyone who could have endured the taunts, the endless indignities that he suffered to take away all of the excuses that had prevented baseball from being a sport all Americans could participate in. As you look around the baseball parks of today and see a rainbow coalition, remember that one man made it possible – before the bus boycott, before Brown vs. the Board of Education, before the Military was integrated, way before Title IX, someone convinced Jackie Robinson to take one for the nation. He should be on everyone's gratitude list.

Put yourself in his place for just a second -

You want to get married, you are barnstorming with the Negro Leagues making the most of your talent in the only place you are allowed to play, you're doing minor league football in the off season, and you've just given up track. Suddenly you are asked to take on one of most incredible tasks of all time – integrate white baseball, and hold your tongue and turn the other cheek when ridicule rains down on you like a flashflood – what would you do? I'm sure that even with the thought that he would be able to make a decent living, he also had to think that this task was too big for him....

You will note that there are no complaints about the liberal use of the “N word” in this movie. I saw “Django Unchained” and it's a toss up which movie used the word more. Between that, being tossed out of restaurants, being threatened with arrest, and with being barred from hotels, I really don't know how he dealt with it. You hear stories about how ethnic stars had to seek shelter in the home of friends and in little known motels that dotted the highway when they travelled because they were about as welcome as a plague of locusts at the five star hotels of the day. I remember BB King telling us that he stayed at the Palmer House because Hilton hotels were among the first to allow blacks to stay there.

The man who got this experiment in deferred appreciation going was Branch Rickey, the General Manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers. Haunted by the realization that he could have done more to help minorities in the past, Rickey decides to try and make amends, and at the same time win some more ball games by searching for the right person at the right time. Only Central Casting could have created a better candidate than Jackie Robinson. While he was a surprising candidate to some, Robinson hadn't been known for turning the other cheek as much as he was known for standing his ground. He understood, however, that if he didn't learn how to call on his better angels, it would have only fueled the fire that has kept us out of the mainstream for far too long.

Recently, the First Family hosted a screening of the movie and invited Robinson's widow, Rachel, who was also well depicted in the movie. Michelle Obama stated that she didn't know how the Robinsons endured in the face of such hatred. If you think like I do, you want to ask Michelle the same question – right?

April 15^th is Jackie Robinson Day – please join me in wearing a #42 jersey in honor of a real American hero.

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GO TO THE SUPERBOWL

I've been blessed to see two Super Bowls and have enjoyed each one immensely. The first time you go, you have no idea what to expect. There's a lot more to it than just the game – going to the Super Bowl is such an incredible experience, the game is the crescendo to a momentous weekend.

I went to the Superbowl in 2001, before the 9-11 attack. I waas struggling to find a flight to get to Tampa to see the Baltimore Ravens play the New York Giants. A girlfriend of mine was also a production manager for MTV and she was helping the band N'Sync because they were performing at the Halftime show. Strangely enough, their rival boy band, the Backstreet Boys, was also performing and I remember asking my manager (who had a daughter who was a bog fan at the time) at the time what the difference was, because I wasn't up on the teenybop situation.

My friend had gotten tickets for a group of us, and I was determined to hang.

I got a flight into Orlando because there were literally no flights left to Tampa. I reserved a car and drove into a Tampa that was packed tighter than a tin can. There were people everywhere, there were celebrities everywhere and each turn of the wheel revealed a new revelation. I saw movie stars – Cedic the Entertainer, I got to see N'Sync, I saw TV personalities – Greg Gumbel wasn't staying far from us. The crowd was incredible. Hotels were going for top dollar, but we had been successful in getting another friend to find us a great deal on a suite at one of the better hotels in the area. I recall that at the time there was a hotel chain that was on the boycott list because of their recent treatment of their employees and this hotel was overflowing with guests, which was aggravating. This hotel was right around the corner from where we were staying – they won that day, but the hotel eventually was bought out by another hotel chain.

Once I got to our hotel, there was a bit of pandamonium because there were so many people trying to check in. I caught up with my group. We had a great room looking over Tampa Bay, complete with dolphin sightings and a balcony to enjoy the evening sunset. But there was no time to enjoy the sunset, actually. We were too busy people watching and partying. We also had some of the best seafood in Tampa I've ever had. The food was spectacular down there, and you could tell that everyone was making money because everyone was smiling.

The game was incredible – fighter jets flying overhead, the former President doing the coin toss, and Aerosmith and N'Sync doing the Halftime show after the Bakckstreet Boys did the National Anthem. The ticket itself is a collector's item, and I keep mine locked in my safety deposit box. There are also other gifts that you can share with those than didn't get to share the experience.

If you plan on going down for one – take my advice: get your tickets from a reputable outlet, you won't be able to get one without a ticket broker, so make sure they aren't a fly by night organization. Go early – set up the hotel, the car, and the restaurant reservations at least eight months in advance. I'm sure going to see your team is what we all dream of, but just in case that doesn't happen, you'll have a better time if you lay everything out in advance and you aren't scrambling. I don't care how many hundreds you press in the matre' d's hand, you can't get a table when there are thousands clamoring for the same thing. Be prepared for the unexpected. We wound up at a Roberta Flack concert standing behind Isaac Hayes – it was once in a lifetime – and she blew the place out.

Some Things You Need To Be Told

Youth is wasted on the young. But we're making it harder on these young people by not reminding them that they didn't invent life. I had a cousin who told me years ago “Everything you're talking about is a re-run!” I didn't have a clue what she meant at the time, but as I got older, I realized that what she said was quite true. Everybody you know who is older was once your age, and although there may be a few tweaks to the process, it's basically the same old game.

A few weeks ago a young, gifted, sports star with his whole life ahead of him admitted that the girlfriend he claimed was his inspiration was not actually a flesh and blood human being and that he had never met her. Fantasies are nothing new, if they were, the Temptations song “Just My Imagination” wouldn't have been such a runaway hit. I'm not sure if you were completely victimized by a diabolical stalker, a co-conspirator in an unnecessary hoax, or just someone who lacks the guidance of someone willing to talk to you about something other than football. No one expects a twenty-one year old to know everything, but here is something you may need to be told:

The title of “girlfriend” comes after meeting some requirements, so don't go handing it out like a rose at a carnival. When your parent's ask you if you have a girlfriend, and you mention some chick you talk to on-line, that's a joke, that's not a girlfriend. A girlfriend is someone you've actually seen, she knows you by sight and voice and responds to your presence. You've talked to her on the phone and you know where she lives. You've met her parents and she has met yours. She knows your friends and you know hers and the two of you have been seen in public on several occasions and nobody fainted! If you needed someone to testify to your whereabouts, she would be a reliable source of info. If she is a hook-up, a one night stand, or a booty-call, she is not a girfriend. Neither is a link-up you got with some stranger. Put some water on your face and get back out in the hunt – there's a song called “Everybody Plays The Fool”, that might help you realize that you aren't the first, and certainly won't be the last to get stung by the love bug.

A few days ago several young women who attend my alma mater admitted that they had been assaulted by a roving young man who took advantage of them by saying that he was locked out of his dorm room and needed a place to sleep. The women say that he hurt them while they were asleep or knocked out. This is a heinous accusation, but sadly, not a new one. If the young man is guilty, I'm sure justice will be done, but I am concerned about these and other young women who may be challenged. Some people take kindness for weakness, so please be careful out there.

When I was in college, we didn't go anyplace alone, not even to get something to eat or to the library. We had a group that we hung with all day, we took classes in the same buildings, and we went to lunch and back to the dorms in a troupe. We went to the library and closed it down every night, so we went back with people that we knew. I had an advisor who looked for me as he officiated 11pm Mass on Sunday nights, so I even went to church with a group of friends.

The thing about collecting friends is that you really have to get to know people before you call them a friend. There are requirements for that title too! People that you say “hey!” to in passing are acquaintances, not necessarily friends. Friends are people that you know something about, you've known them for a while and they have an anecdote or two that they can pull out on you at a moment's notice. My friends all tease me about playing 20 questions with new people I meet, but I like to know the people I roll with. Some don't make it past the interview.

When you go out on a date, whether it's a sprite or a long island iced tea, take the drink from the bartender and never leave it unattended. Don't make a habit of eating at a bar (ever!) or being seen alone all the time. If people see that you have a regular crew, that's the first indication that you will be missed. Always make sure that people know who you are, and take the time to know who they are. It's not just a matter of being the life of the party, it could save your life. Once I was at a very, very popular nightclub and one of the girls with me got away from us. We sent a few of the guys in our group to see about her and she had gotten her ankles cut by some bum waiting to get us when we went back to our car. He might have done more if the guys hadn't gone to look for her.

Now, the next time a man tells you he's locked out of his dorm room and doesn't have a place to stay, here's how to handle it tactfully, but firmly. Look into those big eyes, grab the phone and call Security to escort him to his dorm and make sure he gets in safely. That's not a new trick, and guys will run that on you all year if you let them. If you give them the brush off, they will spread the word that you're not a push-over. The next time a stranger asks to take you out, ask him for his number at work and do some research before you decide. If he doesn't have a job, he doesn't really have time to date, now does he? And you aren't really interested in someone who can't figure out HOW to get home, are you?

Everybody is not your friend – you don't have to make a snap decision about something that could impact the rest of your life. Step back and give yourself a minute to deal with the choices you will be confronted with. We're all like sheep among wolves, but you don't have to go it alone, ask for some help, that's what we old schoolers are here for....

100 Years of Deltas

Twenty-two young college women from Howard University decided to begin a national sorority. They selected a name that signified a change in direction from what was already in place. They decided that they wanted to take a more active role in impacting the world politically. They became Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

They were concerned about social activism and they decided to take part in the Suffragette March of 1913. They marched down Pennsylvania Avenue the day before Woodrow Wilson was to be Inaugurated. Mary Church Terrell, an honorary member, was right by their side. They were the only black omen's organization to take part in that march. They were criticized by many for their participation, but it was the right step for them to take in order to make sure women of color were included in the discussion about voting rights.

The organization spread to Wilberforce by 1914, the University of Pennsylvania by 1918, the University of Iowa by 1919, and the University of California by 1921. The message and the method was growing by leaps and bounds. Deltas were the first black Greek Letter organization to reach the Pacific. We even had a float in this year's Tournament of Roses Parade celebrating our Centennial.

Today there are over 300,000 Deltas and we are all over the world – England, Japan, Germany, Korea, and we are still involved in the same endeavors – furthering the cause of equality through political action. While Deltas are still involved in educational initiatives, we have branched out into helping others find jobs, we also have programs to help others find affordable housing. Delta has continued to change with the changing needs of the community.

Let's look forward to what the next 100 years can bring – and congratulations!

Notable Deltas

This provides a glimpse of some of the women who helped mold a legacy to make Delta Sigma Theta a powerful force -- more than a sorority.

Osceola Macarthy Adams, a founding member of Delta, was one of the first Black actresses on Broadway. She was the Director of the Harlem School of the Arts and directed the theatrical debuts of Harry Belafonte and Sidney Poitier.

Sadie T. M. Alexander, Ph.D., 1st National President (1919-1923), was the nation's first woman to earn a Ph.D. in economics (1921). A distinguished attorney, she was among the founders of the National Bar Association (1925) and she was appointed to President Truman's Commission on Civil Rights (1945).

Tina Allen, sculptor and painter recently sculpted a life-sized bust of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. She is the conceptual designer of two major international projects: The International Children's Peace Park and the Monumental Statue of Nelson Mandela. Ms. Allen has received the Essence Award, the Stellar Award and the Thurgood Marshall Lifetime Achievement Award.

Brigadier General Hazel Johnson Brown, Ph.D., was the first African American woman general in the United States Army.

Selma Burke, Ph.D., sculptor, won the 1943 Fine Arts Competition for the District of Columbia for a profile of President Franklin D. Roosevelt. This artwork was adapted for the United States dime.

Alexa Canady, M.D., at age 26 became the first Black woman neurosurgeon in the United States. She specializes in pediatric neurosurgery.

Elizabeth Catlett is an internationally acclaimed sculptor and lithographer. She is noted for the vast range of works she creates, including life-size sculptures and even larger pieces.

Shirley Chisholm, the first Black woman member of the U.S. Congress, was the first African American and first woman to run as a major party candidate for the presidency of the United States.

Ruby Dee Davis is an extraordinary actress with performance credits on stage, in film and on television. She has also written a collection of poetry.

Myrlie Evers-Williams is the Chairman Emerita of the Board for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).

Frankie M. Freeman, noted attorney and 14th National President (1967-1971), was the first woman appointed to the Civil Rights Commission by President Lyndon B. Johnson and served 16 years.

Patricia Roberts Harris served as Delta Sigma Theta's first Executive Director. She was also the first Black woman to be appointed ambassador to a European country (Luxembourg) and to be appointed to a presidential cabinet post as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). She was later appointed as Secretary of Health and Human Services. In January 2000, she was honored on the 23rd commemorative stamp in the United States Postal Service's Black Heritage Series. Other Deltas that have been ambassadors are Ann Holloway and Bynthis Perry.

Dorothy I. Height, Ph.D., 10th National President (1947-1956), was appointed by President Carter to the Presidential Commission on a National Agenda for the 1980s. She has served as president of the National Council of Negro Women for over 40 years.

Alexis Herman was the Secretary of Labor and a Cabinet Member in the administration of President William Clinton.

Darlene Clark Hine, Ph.D., noted author, built her career on researching, publishing and raising the bar of how the experience of African American women should be recorded. She was the first African American to become the John A. Hannah of History Endowed Chair at Michigan State University.

Shirley Jackson, Ph.D., is the 18th President of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. She is the first African-American woman to head a leading technological university, the first African-American woman to earn a Ph.D. at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (in 1973), and she was the first African-American woman to become a commissioner of the United States Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

Elaine R. Jones is the first woman to serve as Director-Counsel of the NAACP Legal Defense Fund. She is also the first African American woman graduate of the University of Virginia Law School and the first African American woman elected to the American Bar Association Board of Governors.

Barbara Jordan was the first African-American to serve in the U.S. congress from the South since reconstruction; first Black woman to preside over a state senate; and the first Black person to deliver the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention.

Jewel S. Lafontant was the first American woman to be admitted into the International Academy of Trial Lawyers. She was also the first female Deputy Solicitor General of the U.S. during the Nixon Administration.

Carrie P. Meek is a Congresswoman in the United States House of Representatives for the 17th District of Florida.

Jane E. Smith, Ph.D. served as the President and CEO of the National Council of Negro Women.

Mary Church Terrell was the first African American chosen to represent the United States Congress of Women and to serve on the board of education of a major city.

Stephanie Tubbs-Jones was a Congresswoman in the United States House of Representatives for the 11th District of Ohio.

Barbara Watson was first African American woman to serve as chief of a State Department bureau. She became Administrator of the Bureau of Security and Consular Affairs on July 31, 1968, served until December 31, 1974, and was re-appointed on April 7, 1977. On August 17 of that year, she became Assistant Secretary of State for Consular Affairs.

Have You Ever Been Offered A Quit Claim Deed?

Years ago one of my friends was driving up to his income property. There was a guy painting the side of the building. This surprised him, but he had empowered his property manager to have the place painted so he didn't get too concerned. He was there to collect rent, so it wasn't long before he learned that there was definitely something to be concerned about. What he didn't know was that he wouldn't be able to resolve the situation with a phone call.

My friend learned from his renters that the man painting the building had “bought” the building. He had also raised the rent across the board because the people living in the building were all month to month renters. He then learned that the property manager had “sold” this guy the building through a “quit claim” deed.

The next months are like a blur – finding out that your property manager, who is living on the property to care for it the building in exchange for reduced rent – has signed a quit claim deed on the property that you own and are paying taxes on – to someone else.

You'd think that this was a rare occurrence, but it actually happens more than you would think. Today, Laurence Fishburne had to get a restraining order to deal with a crazed fan who told Fishburne's family he was going to evict them, and it made me think about this situation.

In the end the guy painting the wall got nothing, the property manager was discredited – I do not believe that he was arrested or spent time in jail – he may have paid a fine. The real owner was in shock, and his wallet was a bit lighter after resolving the issue.

If you want to buy some property, you really want a warranty deed. You want to make sure the person selling the property has the right to convey the property to you, and you want to purchase title insurance to make sure the title on the property is clear and clean without encumberances, or bills that have to be paid.

I'm happy to walk you through the process, don't let this happen to you....

From Huffingtonpost.com

LOS ANGELES — Laurence Fishburne has been granted a temporary restraining order against an ex-convict who claims to own the actor's home and went there on New Year's Day to try to evict him.

The order requires Anthony Francis, whose real name is Mark Francisco, to stay 100 yards from the Oscar-nominated actor and his wife and daughter.

Francisco was sentenced to serve two years in state prison on a cyberstalking conviction in 2010, and court records show he spent time in a state mental hospital for that case. He pleaded no contest to cyberstalking after being found competent to stand trial.

Francisco went to the Oscar-nominated actor's home Jan. 1 and told Fishburne's wife that they were living there illegally. Police were called and based on Francisco's agitated demeanor and criminal history, they advised Fishburne to seek a restraining order, the court filings state.

Francisco also left a handwritten letter threatening to evict the Fishburnes and called police in recent days to try to get them to leave, the filings state.

ttempts to reach Francisco for comment were unsuccessful.

Fishburne and his wife, Gina Torres Fishburne, have owned their home for 10 years, his filing states.

"This is a case of stalking, and the judge had no problem in issuing a temporary restraining order to stop it," Fishburne's attorney Donald Etra said.

Francisco has a 1993 conviction for burglary in San Diego, court records show.

The order temporary restraining order was granted Thursday. A court hearing on a three-year restraining order is scheduled for Jan. 23.

Fishburne starred in "The Matrix" series and was nominated for a best actor Academy Award in 1993 for "What's Love Got to Do with It." His wife is an actress, appearing in "24" and other television series.

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