WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GO TO THE SUPERBOWL

I've been blessed to see two Super Bowls and have enjoyed each one immensely. The first time you go, you have no idea what to expect. There's a lot more to it than just the game – going to the Super Bowl is such an incredible experience, the game is the crescendo to a momentous weekend.

I went to the Superbowl in 2001, before the 9-11 attack. I waas struggling to find a flight to get to Tampa to see the Baltimore Ravens play the New York Giants. A girlfriend of mine was also a production manager for MTV and she was helping the band N'Sync because they were performing at the Halftime show. Strangely enough, their rival boy band, the Backstreet Boys, was also performing and I remember asking my manager (who had a daughter who was a bog fan at the time) at the time what the difference was, because I wasn't up on the teenybop situation.

My friend had gotten tickets for a group of us, and I was determined to hang.

I got a flight into Orlando because there were literally no flights left to Tampa. I reserved a car and drove into a Tampa that was packed tighter than a tin can. There were people everywhere, there were celebrities everywhere and each turn of the wheel revealed a new revelation. I saw movie stars – Cedic the Entertainer, I got to see N'Sync, I saw TV personalities – Greg Gumbel wasn't staying far from us. The crowd was incredible. Hotels were going for top dollar, but we had been successful in getting another friend to find us a great deal on a suite at one of the better hotels in the area. I recall that at the time there was a hotel chain that was on the boycott list because of their recent treatment of their employees and this hotel was overflowing with guests, which was aggravating. This hotel was right around the corner from where we were staying – they won that day, but the hotel eventually was bought out by another hotel chain.

Once I got to our hotel, there was a bit of pandamonium because there were so many people trying to check in. I caught up with my group. We had a great room looking over Tampa Bay, complete with dolphin sightings and a balcony to enjoy the evening sunset. But there was no time to enjoy the sunset, actually. We were too busy people watching and partying. We also had some of the best seafood in Tampa I've ever had. The food was spectacular down there, and you could tell that everyone was making money because everyone was smiling.

The game was incredible – fighter jets flying overhead, the former President doing the coin toss, and Aerosmith and N'Sync doing the Halftime show after the Bakckstreet Boys did the National Anthem. The ticket itself is a collector's item, and I keep mine locked in my safety deposit box. There are also other gifts that you can share with those than didn't get to share the experience.

If you plan on going down for one – take my advice: get your tickets from a reputable outlet, you won't be able to get one without a ticket broker, so make sure they aren't a fly by night organization. Go early – set up the hotel, the car, and the restaurant reservations at least eight months in advance. I'm sure going to see your team is what we all dream of, but just in case that doesn't happen, you'll have a better time if you lay everything out in advance and you aren't scrambling. I don't care how many hundreds you press in the matre' d's hand, you can't get a table when there are thousands clamoring for the same thing. Be prepared for the unexpected. We wound up at a Roberta Flack concert standing behind Isaac Hayes – it was once in a lifetime – and she blew the place out.

Some Things You Need To Be Told

Youth is wasted on the young. But we're making it harder on these young people by not reminding them that they didn't invent life. I had a cousin who told me years ago “Everything you're talking about is a re-run!” I didn't have a clue what she meant at the time, but as I got older, I realized that what she said was quite true. Everybody you know who is older was once your age, and although there may be a few tweaks to the process, it's basically the same old game.

A few weeks ago a young, gifted, sports star with his whole life ahead of him admitted that the girlfriend he claimed was his inspiration was not actually a flesh and blood human being and that he had never met her. Fantasies are nothing new, if they were, the Temptations song “Just My Imagination” wouldn't have been such a runaway hit. I'm not sure if you were completely victimized by a diabolical stalker, a co-conspirator in an unnecessary hoax, or just someone who lacks the guidance of someone willing to talk to you about something other than football. No one expects a twenty-one year old to know everything, but here is something you may need to be told:

The title of “girlfriend” comes after meeting some requirements, so don't go handing it out like a rose at a carnival. When your parent's ask you if you have a girlfriend, and you mention some chick you talk to on-line, that's a joke, that's not a girlfriend. A girlfriend is someone you've actually seen, she knows you by sight and voice and responds to your presence. You've talked to her on the phone and you know where she lives. You've met her parents and she has met yours. She knows your friends and you know hers and the two of you have been seen in public on several occasions and nobody fainted! If you needed someone to testify to your whereabouts, she would be a reliable source of info. If she is a hook-up, a one night stand, or a booty-call, she is not a girfriend. Neither is a link-up you got with some stranger. Put some water on your face and get back out in the hunt – there's a song called “Everybody Plays The Fool”, that might help you realize that you aren't the first, and certainly won't be the last to get stung by the love bug.

A few days ago several young women who attend my alma mater admitted that they had been assaulted by a roving young man who took advantage of them by saying that he was locked out of his dorm room and needed a place to sleep. The women say that he hurt them while they were asleep or knocked out. This is a heinous accusation, but sadly, not a new one. If the young man is guilty, I'm sure justice will be done, but I am concerned about these and other young women who may be challenged. Some people take kindness for weakness, so please be careful out there.

When I was in college, we didn't go anyplace alone, not even to get something to eat or to the library. We had a group that we hung with all day, we took classes in the same buildings, and we went to lunch and back to the dorms in a troupe. We went to the library and closed it down every night, so we went back with people that we knew. I had an advisor who looked for me as he officiated 11pm Mass on Sunday nights, so I even went to church with a group of friends.

The thing about collecting friends is that you really have to get to know people before you call them a friend. There are requirements for that title too! People that you say “hey!” to in passing are acquaintances, not necessarily friends. Friends are people that you know something about, you've known them for a while and they have an anecdote or two that they can pull out on you at a moment's notice. My friends all tease me about playing 20 questions with new people I meet, but I like to know the people I roll with. Some don't make it past the interview.

When you go out on a date, whether it's a sprite or a long island iced tea, take the drink from the bartender and never leave it unattended. Don't make a habit of eating at a bar (ever!) or being seen alone all the time. If people see that you have a regular crew, that's the first indication that you will be missed. Always make sure that people know who you are, and take the time to know who they are. It's not just a matter of being the life of the party, it could save your life. Once I was at a very, very popular nightclub and one of the girls with me got away from us. We sent a few of the guys in our group to see about her and she had gotten her ankles cut by some bum waiting to get us when we went back to our car. He might have done more if the guys hadn't gone to look for her.

Now, the next time a man tells you he's locked out of his dorm room and doesn't have a place to stay, here's how to handle it tactfully, but firmly. Look into those big eyes, grab the phone and call Security to escort him to his dorm and make sure he gets in safely. That's not a new trick, and guys will run that on you all year if you let them. If you give them the brush off, they will spread the word that you're not a push-over. The next time a stranger asks to take you out, ask him for his number at work and do some research before you decide. If he doesn't have a job, he doesn't really have time to date, now does he? And you aren't really interested in someone who can't figure out HOW to get home, are you?

Everybody is not your friend – you don't have to make a snap decision about something that could impact the rest of your life. Step back and give yourself a minute to deal with the choices you will be confronted with. We're all like sheep among wolves, but you don't have to go it alone, ask for some help, that's what we old schoolers are here for....

100 Years of Deltas

Twenty-two young college women from Howard University decided to begin a national sorority. They selected a name that signified a change in direction from what was already in place. They decided that they wanted to take a more active role in impacting the world politically. They became Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

They were concerned about social activism and they decided to take part in the Suffragette March of 1913. They marched down Pennsylvania Avenue the day before Woodrow Wilson was to be Inaugurated. Mary Church Terrell, an honorary member, was right by their side. They were the only black omen's organization to take part in that march. They were criticized by many for their participation, but it was the right step for them to take in order to make sure women of color were included in the discussion about voting rights.

The organization spread to Wilberforce by 1914, the University of Pennsylvania by 1918, the University of Iowa by 1919, and the University of California by 1921. The message and the method was growing by leaps and bounds. Deltas were the first black Greek Letter organization to reach the Pacific. We even had a float in this year's Tournament of Roses Parade celebrating our Centennial.

Today there are over 300,000 Deltas and we are all over the world – England, Japan, Germany, Korea, and we are still involved in the same endeavors – furthering the cause of equality through political action. While Deltas are still involved in educational initiatives, we have branched out into helping others find jobs, we also have programs to help others find affordable housing. Delta has continued to change with the changing needs of the community.

Let's look forward to what the next 100 years can bring – and congratulations!

Notable Deltas

This provides a glimpse of some of the women who helped mold a legacy to make Delta Sigma Theta a powerful force -- more than a sorority.

Osceola Macarthy Adams, a founding member of Delta, was one of the first Black actresses on Broadway. She was the Director of the Harlem School of the Arts and directed the theatrical debuts of Harry Belafonte and Sidney Poitier.

Sadie T. M. Alexander, Ph.D., 1st National President (1919-1923), was the nation's first woman to earn a Ph.D. in economics (1921). A distinguished attorney, she was among the founders of the National Bar Association (1925) and she was appointed to President Truman's Commission on Civil Rights (1945).

Tina Allen, sculptor and painter recently sculpted a life-sized bust of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. She is the conceptual designer of two major international projects: The International Children's Peace Park and the Monumental Statue of Nelson Mandela. Ms. Allen has received the Essence Award, the Stellar Award and the Thurgood Marshall Lifetime Achievement Award.

Brigadier General Hazel Johnson Brown, Ph.D., was the first African American woman general in the United States Army.

Selma Burke, Ph.D., sculptor, won the 1943 Fine Arts Competition for the District of Columbia for a profile of President Franklin D. Roosevelt. This artwork was adapted for the United States dime.

Alexa Canady, M.D., at age 26 became the first Black woman neurosurgeon in the United States. She specializes in pediatric neurosurgery.

Elizabeth Catlett is an internationally acclaimed sculptor and lithographer. She is noted for the vast range of works she creates, including life-size sculptures and even larger pieces.

Shirley Chisholm, the first Black woman member of the U.S. Congress, was the first African American and first woman to run as a major party candidate for the presidency of the United States.

Ruby Dee Davis is an extraordinary actress with performance credits on stage, in film and on television. She has also written a collection of poetry.

Myrlie Evers-Williams is the Chairman Emerita of the Board for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).

Frankie M. Freeman, noted attorney and 14th National President (1967-1971), was the first woman appointed to the Civil Rights Commission by President Lyndon B. Johnson and served 16 years.

Patricia Roberts Harris served as Delta Sigma Theta's first Executive Director. She was also the first Black woman to be appointed ambassador to a European country (Luxembourg) and to be appointed to a presidential cabinet post as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). She was later appointed as Secretary of Health and Human Services. In January 2000, she was honored on the 23rd commemorative stamp in the United States Postal Service's Black Heritage Series. Other Deltas that have been ambassadors are Ann Holloway and Bynthis Perry.

Dorothy I. Height, Ph.D., 10th National President (1947-1956), was appointed by President Carter to the Presidential Commission on a National Agenda for the 1980s. She has served as president of the National Council of Negro Women for over 40 years.

Alexis Herman was the Secretary of Labor and a Cabinet Member in the administration of President William Clinton.

Darlene Clark Hine, Ph.D., noted author, built her career on researching, publishing and raising the bar of how the experience of African American women should be recorded. She was the first African American to become the John A. Hannah of History Endowed Chair at Michigan State University.

Shirley Jackson, Ph.D., is the 18th President of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. She is the first African-American woman to head a leading technological university, the first African-American woman to earn a Ph.D. at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (in 1973), and she was the first African-American woman to become a commissioner of the United States Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

Elaine R. Jones is the first woman to serve as Director-Counsel of the NAACP Legal Defense Fund. She is also the first African American woman graduate of the University of Virginia Law School and the first African American woman elected to the American Bar Association Board of Governors.

Barbara Jordan was the first African-American to serve in the U.S. congress from the South since reconstruction; first Black woman to preside over a state senate; and the first Black person to deliver the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention.

Jewel S. Lafontant was the first American woman to be admitted into the International Academy of Trial Lawyers. She was also the first female Deputy Solicitor General of the U.S. during the Nixon Administration.

Carrie P. Meek is a Congresswoman in the United States House of Representatives for the 17th District of Florida.

Jane E. Smith, Ph.D. served as the President and CEO of the National Council of Negro Women.

Mary Church Terrell was the first African American chosen to represent the United States Congress of Women and to serve on the board of education of a major city.

Stephanie Tubbs-Jones was a Congresswoman in the United States House of Representatives for the 11th District of Ohio.

Barbara Watson was first African American woman to serve as chief of a State Department bureau. She became Administrator of the Bureau of Security and Consular Affairs on July 31, 1968, served until December 31, 1974, and was re-appointed on April 7, 1977. On August 17 of that year, she became Assistant Secretary of State for Consular Affairs.

Have You Ever Been Offered A Quit Claim Deed?

Years ago one of my friends was driving up to his income property. There was a guy painting the side of the building. This surprised him, but he had empowered his property manager to have the place painted so he didn't get too concerned. He was there to collect rent, so it wasn't long before he learned that there was definitely something to be concerned about. What he didn't know was that he wouldn't be able to resolve the situation with a phone call.

My friend learned from his renters that the man painting the building had “bought” the building. He had also raised the rent across the board because the people living in the building were all month to month renters. He then learned that the property manager had “sold” this guy the building through a “quit claim” deed.

The next months are like a blur – finding out that your property manager, who is living on the property to care for it the building in exchange for reduced rent – has signed a quit claim deed on the property that you own and are paying taxes on – to someone else.

You'd think that this was a rare occurrence, but it actually happens more than you would think. Today, Laurence Fishburne had to get a restraining order to deal with a crazed fan who told Fishburne's family he was going to evict them, and it made me think about this situation.

In the end the guy painting the wall got nothing, the property manager was discredited – I do not believe that he was arrested or spent time in jail – he may have paid a fine. The real owner was in shock, and his wallet was a bit lighter after resolving the issue.

If you want to buy some property, you really want a warranty deed. You want to make sure the person selling the property has the right to convey the property to you, and you want to purchase title insurance to make sure the title on the property is clear and clean without encumberances, or bills that have to be paid.

I'm happy to walk you through the process, don't let this happen to you....

From Huffingtonpost.com

LOS ANGELES — Laurence Fishburne has been granted a temporary restraining order against an ex-convict who claims to own the actor's home and went there on New Year's Day to try to evict him.

The order requires Anthony Francis, whose real name is Mark Francisco, to stay 100 yards from the Oscar-nominated actor and his wife and daughter.

Francisco was sentenced to serve two years in state prison on a cyberstalking conviction in 2010, and court records show he spent time in a state mental hospital for that case. He pleaded no contest to cyberstalking after being found competent to stand trial.

Francisco went to the Oscar-nominated actor's home Jan. 1 and told Fishburne's wife that they were living there illegally. Police were called and based on Francisco's agitated demeanor and criminal history, they advised Fishburne to seek a restraining order, the court filings state.

Francisco also left a handwritten letter threatening to evict the Fishburnes and called police in recent days to try to get them to leave, the filings state.

ttempts to reach Francisco for comment were unsuccessful.

Fishburne and his wife, Gina Torres Fishburne, have owned their home for 10 years, his filing states.

"This is a case of stalking, and the judge had no problem in issuing a temporary restraining order to stop it," Fishburne's attorney Donald Etra said.

Francisco has a 1993 conviction for burglary in San Diego, court records show.

The order temporary restraining order was granted Thursday. A court hearing on a three-year restraining order is scheduled for Jan. 23.

Fishburne starred in "The Matrix" series and was nominated for a best actor Academy Award in 1993 for "What's Love Got to Do with It." His wife is an actress, appearing in "24" and other television series.

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You Haven't Seen Lincoln Yet??

150 Years of the Emancipation Proclamation

If you haven't seen “Lincoln” yet - what are you waiting for?

It was an incredible movie that offered great insight on the hurdles necessary to end slavery in this country. More than a war, it took an act of Congress to pass the 13^th Amendment and make slavery illegal in this great land of the free and home of the brave. You'd think that wouldn't have been necessary, but in a land famous for cotton, sugar, rice, tobacco, wheat, and corn – it helped make the country rich. Its unfortunate that some don't realize that this bitter legacy is still bringing us down, even all these years later.

Lincoln was concerned that if the war ended without the formal end of slavery having been decided, slaves might be forced to return to their masters because the Proclamation was made in his capacity as Commander in Chief, not a law passed by both Houses of Congress - can you imagine?

The Proclamation only freed slaves in the southern states that were at war and being turned back, but it didn't formally end slavery for all. It was useful in making some European countries that relied on cotton, rice, and sugar from the south, think twice about intervening on the side of the Confederacy. Delaware, Missouri, Kentucky, and Maryland were not impacted by the Emancipation Proclamation because they were not fighting at the time, so they still had the right to own slaves.

Notherners were concerned about the impact on the Labor market, but they didn't complain about the thousands of former slaves joining and fighting in the Union Army at the time. They didn't want blacks taking jobs, competing head to head, or elevating themselves to a position of strength against the majority. It's distressing to see that even lame duck Democrats of the time were loathe to vote to end slavery and provide freedom to all. They didn't even have anything to lose.

It seems that people were not inclined to admit, even to themselves, that the Civil War was about slavery. You can couch it in calls for States Rights, and too much government, but the bottom line was that the south didn't want to lose it's economic hammer – a free labor market. Like most great victories, it came at a terrible price as the President was killed for asserting that blacks must have some rights.

I realize that there are still many who think that Abraham Lincoln was a racist, wanted to send slaves back to Africa, and didn't do nearly enough to help blacks win the equality we still seek, but it's clear that he made a contribution that we can still be greatful for. People are still debating the reasons for the war as well as who was really on our side. Its my hope that we won't still be debating the subject 150 years from now.

Sports New Year's Resolutions

Chicago Has More to Offer Than Also Rans

The Chicago Bears cut ties with their head coach – again! The story is almost a cliché. Every few years a Chicago sports franchise frustrates its fans to the point where ticket sales are threatened and suddenly heads begin to roll because nothing other than a sacrificial lamb will do. Even Chicagoans at some point get tired of hearing “Wait til next year,” when that year rarely ever comes.

Granted, we've had more success than most – some cities haven't been in the winner's circle in so long, a real victory may turn the town into an inferno of celebration. The Cubs keep us humble, but we can't forget that the Bears went to the SuperBowl and won the title once, the White Sox knocked it out of the park to claim the World Series once, and that the Blackhawks captured the Stanley Cup once in recent memory. We also had the best player in basketball take us to victory so many times, we actually started to think it was our due. We got straightened out about that pretty quickly, so in Chicago it's not all bad....

But basically every year we hear the same story - players who feel unappreciated, coaches who are frustrated and underpaid, fans who feel that they are being ripped off – and they all have the same question – when is a Chicago franchise going to pick players who are world class city caliber, when are we going to get a coach who had a head coaching job elsewhere, and when are we going to stop being the retirement home to players who are still on the active roster?

Just the other day I watched the ESPN special on Bo Jackson – it was incredible. It reminded me of all that the man had accomplished, and it reminded me that we have a pattern in this town that I find troubling – we have a tendency to bring the big guys in when we can get them for pennies on the dollar. Bo Jackson had a stellar career in football and baseball and was unappreciated in both sports in my mind. There is no reason why he shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame for both sports. I remember his years as a member of the White Sox, and was chagrinned to be reminded that Jackson didn't come here until after his hip replacement. Imagine what the Sox might have been able to accomplish if he had played his whole career in a White Sox uniform?

Why can't we hire a head coach from another city? Why are we always selecting an assistant coach, elevating him in position but paying him according to his prior rank? Why not pay the coach what he deserves based on what the team needs him to accomplish during his tenure – why must we always low ball people and then get angry when we get second rate results? We need to pay these coaches what they are worth and measure their effectiveness against their results each year. But if it's always going to be a game of lowball, you're never going to get the best available.

I don't expect every season to end with us undefeated, although that would be nice! I really just want Chicago to step out of the shadows and realize its potential. This is the greatest city in the world! Can you imagine what we could get done if we had at least one team in contention for the brass ring every year? Does anyone know what the impact on the economy could be? Full restaurants, hotels filled to capacity, tourist attractions on blast! If Chicago is on point, the whole state of Illinois benefits. I don't think we hold ourselves to the proper standard, and it's holding us back.

We need to use this year to turn the corner on disappointing sports seasons – that's my hope for the new year in my kind of town!

I Found A New Grocery Store

Look out Jewel, watch your back Dominick's - Mariano's Fresh Markets is about to put your lights out if you aren't careful! I was introduced to the store that was on Belmont and Western but now there is a location that is much closer and I can swing by on my way home.

Mariano's has opened a new store at Monroe and Halsted and I can't stay out of the place!!!

The store has fresh and organic fruit that's more affordable than Whole Foods, a juice bar with a fireplace where you can put your feet up and have a real smoothie, and  food sales that will keep you coming back for more.

I enjoy a store that has all of the national brands along with some local favorites.  I have been successful in finding Oberweis Dairy products in full supply, even the sour cream, which is the best I've ever tasted.

Mariano's is an offshoot of Roundy's Supermarkets, based in Minneapolis.  The chain is very well known there and Mariano's is named for Roundy's CEO, Robert Mariano.  The store was built to be the answer to Whole Foods, and in my opinion, they've  reached their goal.  I can spend $30-40 and have several bags of groceries - you can't do that everywhere.  The service is also amazing - the employees wear black and white uniforms.  They are familiar with the stock and know how to find the answer to a question rather than refer you to another employee.

I like a store that has wide aisles and is well -lit with ample parking.  Parking is not an issue, there is a full parking lot and attendants to help you find a space.  Parking at the Halsted location is free.

Here are my must have's:

• the fresh strawberries
• the oranges
• the grapes - they last for a week
• the plums - ready to eat as soon as you buy them
• the salmon - never had a bad experience
• the guacamole - mild the way I like it
• the fresh squeezed orange juice
• Donkey tortilla chips - my former brand has been usurped
• Breakstone's cottage cheese - Jewel doesn't sell the 4% milkfat anymore
• anything at the cheese bar
• the asparagus - reasonably priced and incredibly fresh
• the popcorn at the snack bar - if you can't get to Garrett's before you go to the movies - this is a good substitute

You may find me shopping anywhere - Costco (still my only warehouse shopping location), Meijer (my suburban shopping destination), or Fox and Obel (my gourmet shopping location). But it looks like I have a new destination for regular groceries - hope to see you there, soon!