Some Things You Need To Be Told

Youth is wasted on the young. But we're making it harder on these young people by not reminding them that they didn't invent life. I had a cousin who told me years ago “Everything you're talking about is a re-run!” I didn't have a clue what she meant at the time, but as I got older, I realized that what she said was quite true. Everybody you know who is older was once your age, and although there may be a few tweaks to the process, it's basically the same old game.

A few weeks ago a young, gifted, sports star with his whole life ahead of him admitted that the girlfriend he claimed was his inspiration was not actually a flesh and blood human being and that he had never met her. Fantasies are nothing new, if they were, the Temptations song “Just My Imagination” wouldn't have been such a runaway hit. I'm not sure if you were completely victimized by a diabolical stalker, a co-conspirator in an unnecessary hoax, or just someone who lacks the guidance of someone willing to talk to you about something other than football. No one expects a twenty-one year old to know everything, but here is something you may need to be told:

The title of “girlfriend” comes after meeting some requirements, so don't go handing it out like a rose at a carnival. When your parent's ask you if you have a girlfriend, and you mention some chick you talk to on-line, that's a joke, that's not a girlfriend. A girlfriend is someone you've actually seen, she knows you by sight and voice and responds to your presence. You've talked to her on the phone and you know where she lives. You've met her parents and she has met yours. She knows your friends and you know hers and the two of you have been seen in public on several occasions and nobody fainted! If you needed someone to testify to your whereabouts, she would be a reliable source of info. If she is a hook-up, a one night stand, or a booty-call, she is not a girfriend. Neither is a link-up you got with some stranger. Put some water on your face and get back out in the hunt – there's a song called “Everybody Plays The Fool”, that might help you realize that you aren't the first, and certainly won't be the last to get stung by the love bug.

A few days ago several young women who attend my alma mater admitted that they had been assaulted by a roving young man who took advantage of them by saying that he was locked out of his dorm room and needed a place to sleep. The women say that he hurt them while they were asleep or knocked out. This is a heinous accusation, but sadly, not a new one. If the young man is guilty, I'm sure justice will be done, but I am concerned about these and other young women who may be challenged. Some people take kindness for weakness, so please be careful out there.

When I was in college, we didn't go anyplace alone, not even to get something to eat or to the library. We had a group that we hung with all day, we took classes in the same buildings, and we went to lunch and back to the dorms in a troupe. We went to the library and closed it down every night, so we went back with people that we knew. I had an advisor who looked for me as he officiated 11pm Mass on Sunday nights, so I even went to church with a group of friends.

The thing about collecting friends is that you really have to get to know people before you call them a friend. There are requirements for that title too! People that you say “hey!” to in passing are acquaintances, not necessarily friends. Friends are people that you know something about, you've known them for a while and they have an anecdote or two that they can pull out on you at a moment's notice. My friends all tease me about playing 20 questions with new people I meet, but I like to know the people I roll with. Some don't make it past the interview.

When you go out on a date, whether it's a sprite or a long island iced tea, take the drink from the bartender and never leave it unattended. Don't make a habit of eating at a bar (ever!) or being seen alone all the time. If people see that you have a regular crew, that's the first indication that you will be missed. Always make sure that people know who you are, and take the time to know who they are. It's not just a matter of being the life of the party, it could save your life. Once I was at a very, very popular nightclub and one of the girls with me got away from us. We sent a few of the guys in our group to see about her and she had gotten her ankles cut by some bum waiting to get us when we went back to our car. He might have done more if the guys hadn't gone to look for her.

Now, the next time a man tells you he's locked out of his dorm room and doesn't have a place to stay, here's how to handle it tactfully, but firmly. Look into those big eyes, grab the phone and call Security to escort him to his dorm and make sure he gets in safely. That's not a new trick, and guys will run that on you all year if you let them. If you give them the brush off, they will spread the word that you're not a push-over. The next time a stranger asks to take you out, ask him for his number at work and do some research before you decide. If he doesn't have a job, he doesn't really have time to date, now does he? And you aren't really interested in someone who can't figure out HOW to get home, are you?

Everybody is not your friend – you don't have to make a snap decision about something that could impact the rest of your life. Step back and give yourself a minute to deal with the choices you will be confronted with. We're all like sheep among wolves, but you don't have to go it alone, ask for some help, that's what we old schoolers are here for....

100 Years of Deltas

Twenty-two young college women from Howard University decided to begin a national sorority. They selected a name that signified a change in direction from what was already in place. They decided that they wanted to take a more active role in impacting the world politically. They became Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

They were concerned about social activism and they decided to take part in the Suffragette March of 1913. They marched down Pennsylvania Avenue the day before Woodrow Wilson was to be Inaugurated. Mary Church Terrell, an honorary member, was right by their side. They were the only black omen's organization to take part in that march. They were criticized by many for their participation, but it was the right step for them to take in order to make sure women of color were included in the discussion about voting rights.

The organization spread to Wilberforce by 1914, the University of Pennsylvania by 1918, the University of Iowa by 1919, and the University of California by 1921. The message and the method was growing by leaps and bounds. Deltas were the first black Greek Letter organization to reach the Pacific. We even had a float in this year's Tournament of Roses Parade celebrating our Centennial.

Today there are over 300,000 Deltas and we are all over the world – England, Japan, Germany, Korea, and we are still involved in the same endeavors – furthering the cause of equality through political action. While Deltas are still involved in educational initiatives, we have branched out into helping others find jobs, we also have programs to help others find affordable housing. Delta has continued to change with the changing needs of the community.

Let's look forward to what the next 100 years can bring – and congratulations!

Notable Deltas

This provides a glimpse of some of the women who helped mold a legacy to make Delta Sigma Theta a powerful force -- more than a sorority.

Osceola Macarthy Adams, a founding member of Delta, was one of the first Black actresses on Broadway. She was the Director of the Harlem School of the Arts and directed the theatrical debuts of Harry Belafonte and Sidney Poitier.

Sadie T. M. Alexander, Ph.D., 1st National President (1919-1923), was the nation's first woman to earn a Ph.D. in economics (1921). A distinguished attorney, she was among the founders of the National Bar Association (1925) and she was appointed to President Truman's Commission on Civil Rights (1945).

Tina Allen, sculptor and painter recently sculpted a life-sized bust of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. She is the conceptual designer of two major international projects: The International Children's Peace Park and the Monumental Statue of Nelson Mandela. Ms. Allen has received the Essence Award, the Stellar Award and the Thurgood Marshall Lifetime Achievement Award.

Brigadier General Hazel Johnson Brown, Ph.D., was the first African American woman general in the United States Army.

Selma Burke, Ph.D., sculptor, won the 1943 Fine Arts Competition for the District of Columbia for a profile of President Franklin D. Roosevelt. This artwork was adapted for the United States dime.

Alexa Canady, M.D., at age 26 became the first Black woman neurosurgeon in the United States. She specializes in pediatric neurosurgery.

Elizabeth Catlett is an internationally acclaimed sculptor and lithographer. She is noted for the vast range of works she creates, including life-size sculptures and even larger pieces.

Shirley Chisholm, the first Black woman member of the U.S. Congress, was the first African American and first woman to run as a major party candidate for the presidency of the United States.

Ruby Dee Davis is an extraordinary actress with performance credits on stage, in film and on television. She has also written a collection of poetry.

Myrlie Evers-Williams is the Chairman Emerita of the Board for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).

Frankie M. Freeman, noted attorney and 14th National President (1967-1971), was the first woman appointed to the Civil Rights Commission by President Lyndon B. Johnson and served 16 years.

Patricia Roberts Harris served as Delta Sigma Theta's first Executive Director. She was also the first Black woman to be appointed ambassador to a European country (Luxembourg) and to be appointed to a presidential cabinet post as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). She was later appointed as Secretary of Health and Human Services. In January 2000, she was honored on the 23rd commemorative stamp in the United States Postal Service's Black Heritage Series. Other Deltas that have been ambassadors are Ann Holloway and Bynthis Perry.

Dorothy I. Height, Ph.D., 10th National President (1947-1956), was appointed by President Carter to the Presidential Commission on a National Agenda for the 1980s. She has served as president of the National Council of Negro Women for over 40 years.

Alexis Herman was the Secretary of Labor and a Cabinet Member in the administration of President William Clinton.

Darlene Clark Hine, Ph.D., noted author, built her career on researching, publishing and raising the bar of how the experience of African American women should be recorded. She was the first African American to become the John A. Hannah of History Endowed Chair at Michigan State University.

Shirley Jackson, Ph.D., is the 18th President of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. She is the first African-American woman to head a leading technological university, the first African-American woman to earn a Ph.D. at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (in 1973), and she was the first African-American woman to become a commissioner of the United States Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

Elaine R. Jones is the first woman to serve as Director-Counsel of the NAACP Legal Defense Fund. She is also the first African American woman graduate of the University of Virginia Law School and the first African American woman elected to the American Bar Association Board of Governors.

Barbara Jordan was the first African-American to serve in the U.S. congress from the South since reconstruction; first Black woman to preside over a state senate; and the first Black person to deliver the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention.

Jewel S. Lafontant was the first American woman to be admitted into the International Academy of Trial Lawyers. She was also the first female Deputy Solicitor General of the U.S. during the Nixon Administration.

Carrie P. Meek is a Congresswoman in the United States House of Representatives for the 17th District of Florida.

Jane E. Smith, Ph.D. served as the President and CEO of the National Council of Negro Women.

Mary Church Terrell was the first African American chosen to represent the United States Congress of Women and to serve on the board of education of a major city.

Stephanie Tubbs-Jones was a Congresswoman in the United States House of Representatives for the 11th District of Ohio.

Barbara Watson was first African American woman to serve as chief of a State Department bureau. She became Administrator of the Bureau of Security and Consular Affairs on July 31, 1968, served until December 31, 1974, and was re-appointed on April 7, 1977. On August 17 of that year, she became Assistant Secretary of State for Consular Affairs.

Have You Ever Been Offered A Quit Claim Deed?

Years ago one of my friends was driving up to his income property. There was a guy painting the side of the building. This surprised him, but he had empowered his property manager to have the place painted so he didn't get too concerned. He was there to collect rent, so it wasn't long before he learned that there was definitely something to be concerned about. What he didn't know was that he wouldn't be able to resolve the situation with a phone call.

My friend learned from his renters that the man painting the building had “bought” the building. He had also raised the rent across the board because the people living in the building were all month to month renters. He then learned that the property manager had “sold” this guy the building through a “quit claim” deed.

The next months are like a blur – finding out that your property manager, who is living on the property to care for it the building in exchange for reduced rent – has signed a quit claim deed on the property that you own and are paying taxes on – to someone else.

You'd think that this was a rare occurrence, but it actually happens more than you would think. Today, Laurence Fishburne had to get a restraining order to deal with a crazed fan who told Fishburne's family he was going to evict them, and it made me think about this situation.

In the end the guy painting the wall got nothing, the property manager was discredited – I do not believe that he was arrested or spent time in jail – he may have paid a fine. The real owner was in shock, and his wallet was a bit lighter after resolving the issue.

If you want to buy some property, you really want a warranty deed. You want to make sure the person selling the property has the right to convey the property to you, and you want to purchase title insurance to make sure the title on the property is clear and clean without encumberances, or bills that have to be paid.

I'm happy to walk you through the process, don't let this happen to you....

From Huffingtonpost.com

LOS ANGELES — Laurence Fishburne has been granted a temporary restraining order against an ex-convict who claims to own the actor's home and went there on New Year's Day to try to evict him.

The order requires Anthony Francis, whose real name is Mark Francisco, to stay 100 yards from the Oscar-nominated actor and his wife and daughter.

Francisco was sentenced to serve two years in state prison on a cyberstalking conviction in 2010, and court records show he spent time in a state mental hospital for that case. He pleaded no contest to cyberstalking after being found competent to stand trial.

Francisco went to the Oscar-nominated actor's home Jan. 1 and told Fishburne's wife that they were living there illegally. Police were called and based on Francisco's agitated demeanor and criminal history, they advised Fishburne to seek a restraining order, the court filings state.

Francisco also left a handwritten letter threatening to evict the Fishburnes and called police in recent days to try to get them to leave, the filings state.

ttempts to reach Francisco for comment were unsuccessful.

Fishburne and his wife, Gina Torres Fishburne, have owned their home for 10 years, his filing states.

"This is a case of stalking, and the judge had no problem in issuing a temporary restraining order to stop it," Fishburne's attorney Donald Etra said.

Francisco has a 1993 conviction for burglary in San Diego, court records show.

The order temporary restraining order was granted Thursday. A court hearing on a three-year restraining order is scheduled for Jan. 23.

Fishburne starred in "The Matrix" series and was nominated for a best actor Academy Award in 1993 for "What's Love Got to Do with It." His wife is an actress, appearing in "24" and other television series.

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You Haven't Seen Lincoln Yet??

150 Years of the Emancipation Proclamation

If you haven't seen “Lincoln” yet - what are you waiting for?

It was an incredible movie that offered great insight on the hurdles necessary to end slavery in this country. More than a war, it took an act of Congress to pass the 13^th Amendment and make slavery illegal in this great land of the free and home of the brave. You'd think that wouldn't have been necessary, but in a land famous for cotton, sugar, rice, tobacco, wheat, and corn – it helped make the country rich. Its unfortunate that some don't realize that this bitter legacy is still bringing us down, even all these years later.

Lincoln was concerned that if the war ended without the formal end of slavery having been decided, slaves might be forced to return to their masters because the Proclamation was made in his capacity as Commander in Chief, not a law passed by both Houses of Congress - can you imagine?

The Proclamation only freed slaves in the southern states that were at war and being turned back, but it didn't formally end slavery for all. It was useful in making some European countries that relied on cotton, rice, and sugar from the south, think twice about intervening on the side of the Confederacy. Delaware, Missouri, Kentucky, and Maryland were not impacted by the Emancipation Proclamation because they were not fighting at the time, so they still had the right to own slaves.

Notherners were concerned about the impact on the Labor market, but they didn't complain about the thousands of former slaves joining and fighting in the Union Army at the time. They didn't want blacks taking jobs, competing head to head, or elevating themselves to a position of strength against the majority. It's distressing to see that even lame duck Democrats of the time were loathe to vote to end slavery and provide freedom to all. They didn't even have anything to lose.

It seems that people were not inclined to admit, even to themselves, that the Civil War was about slavery. You can couch it in calls for States Rights, and too much government, but the bottom line was that the south didn't want to lose it's economic hammer – a free labor market. Like most great victories, it came at a terrible price as the President was killed for asserting that blacks must have some rights.

I realize that there are still many who think that Abraham Lincoln was a racist, wanted to send slaves back to Africa, and didn't do nearly enough to help blacks win the equality we still seek, but it's clear that he made a contribution that we can still be greatful for. People are still debating the reasons for the war as well as who was really on our side. Its my hope that we won't still be debating the subject 150 years from now.

Sports New Year's Resolutions

Chicago Has More to Offer Than Also Rans

The Chicago Bears cut ties with their head coach – again! The story is almost a cliché. Every few years a Chicago sports franchise frustrates its fans to the point where ticket sales are threatened and suddenly heads begin to roll because nothing other than a sacrificial lamb will do. Even Chicagoans at some point get tired of hearing “Wait til next year,” when that year rarely ever comes.

Granted, we've had more success than most – some cities haven't been in the winner's circle in so long, a real victory may turn the town into an inferno of celebration. The Cubs keep us humble, but we can't forget that the Bears went to the SuperBowl and won the title once, the White Sox knocked it out of the park to claim the World Series once, and that the Blackhawks captured the Stanley Cup once in recent memory. We also had the best player in basketball take us to victory so many times, we actually started to think it was our due. We got straightened out about that pretty quickly, so in Chicago it's not all bad....

But basically every year we hear the same story - players who feel unappreciated, coaches who are frustrated and underpaid, fans who feel that they are being ripped off – and they all have the same question – when is a Chicago franchise going to pick players who are world class city caliber, when are we going to get a coach who had a head coaching job elsewhere, and when are we going to stop being the retirement home to players who are still on the active roster?

Just the other day I watched the ESPN special on Bo Jackson – it was incredible. It reminded me of all that the man had accomplished, and it reminded me that we have a pattern in this town that I find troubling – we have a tendency to bring the big guys in when we can get them for pennies on the dollar. Bo Jackson had a stellar career in football and baseball and was unappreciated in both sports in my mind. There is no reason why he shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame for both sports. I remember his years as a member of the White Sox, and was chagrinned to be reminded that Jackson didn't come here until after his hip replacement. Imagine what the Sox might have been able to accomplish if he had played his whole career in a White Sox uniform?

Why can't we hire a head coach from another city? Why are we always selecting an assistant coach, elevating him in position but paying him according to his prior rank? Why not pay the coach what he deserves based on what the team needs him to accomplish during his tenure – why must we always low ball people and then get angry when we get second rate results? We need to pay these coaches what they are worth and measure their effectiveness against their results each year. But if it's always going to be a game of lowball, you're never going to get the best available.

I don't expect every season to end with us undefeated, although that would be nice! I really just want Chicago to step out of the shadows and realize its potential. This is the greatest city in the world! Can you imagine what we could get done if we had at least one team in contention for the brass ring every year? Does anyone know what the impact on the economy could be? Full restaurants, hotels filled to capacity, tourist attractions on blast! If Chicago is on point, the whole state of Illinois benefits. I don't think we hold ourselves to the proper standard, and it's holding us back.

We need to use this year to turn the corner on disappointing sports seasons – that's my hope for the new year in my kind of town!

I Found A New Grocery Store

Look out Jewel, watch your back Dominick's - Mariano's Fresh Markets is about to put your lights out if you aren't careful! I was introduced to the store that was on Belmont and Western but now there is a location that is much closer and I can swing by on my way home.

Mariano's has opened a new store at Monroe and Halsted and I can't stay out of the place!!!

The store has fresh and organic fruit that's more affordable than Whole Foods, a juice bar with a fireplace where you can put your feet up and have a real smoothie, and  food sales that will keep you coming back for more.

I enjoy a store that has all of the national brands along with some local favorites.  I have been successful in finding Oberweis Dairy products in full supply, even the sour cream, which is the best I've ever tasted.

Mariano's is an offshoot of Roundy's Supermarkets, based in Minneapolis.  The chain is very well known there and Mariano's is named for Roundy's CEO, Robert Mariano.  The store was built to be the answer to Whole Foods, and in my opinion, they've  reached their goal.  I can spend $30-40 and have several bags of groceries - you can't do that everywhere.  The service is also amazing - the employees wear black and white uniforms.  They are familiar with the stock and know how to find the answer to a question rather than refer you to another employee.

I like a store that has wide aisles and is well -lit with ample parking.  Parking is not an issue, there is a full parking lot and attendants to help you find a space.  Parking at the Halsted location is free.

Here are my must have's:

• the fresh strawberries
• the oranges
• the grapes - they last for a week
• the plums - ready to eat as soon as you buy them
• the salmon - never had a bad experience
• the guacamole - mild the way I like it
• the fresh squeezed orange juice
• Donkey tortilla chips - my former brand has been usurped
• Breakstone's cottage cheese - Jewel doesn't sell the 4% milkfat anymore
• anything at the cheese bar
• the asparagus - reasonably priced and incredibly fresh
• the popcorn at the snack bar - if you can't get to Garrett's before you go to the movies - this is a good substitute

You may find me shopping anywhere - Costco (still my only warehouse shopping location), Meijer (my suburban shopping destination), or Fox and Obel (my gourmet shopping location). But it looks like I have a new destination for regular groceries - hope to see you there, soon!

Just When They Are Needed More Than Ever

 

I gave my very first volunteer seminar on how to find a job at Bottomless Closet.  I gave them once a quarter for five years without fail.  At first the seminars were sparse, but after the third one, they were always crowded. I helped a lot of people get jobs there.  It's sad to see that the organization is closing its doors in favor of "Dress for Success", the New York counterpart.  I don't remember the New York company offering training, but it seems that they are about to start.

My Loyola Advisor asked me to work with the Loyola mentoring program and that's when I gave my first speech at the Senior Luncheon for the College of Arts and Sciences discussing the daunting prospect of finding your first real job to a group of scared graduating seniors and their parents.  From there I began offering the how to find a job seminar at Loyola  every few months and the rest is history.   

 The economy hasn't gotten that much better that programs like Bottomless Closet can fold, in fact, they are needed now more than ever.  Now that things are picking up, we need to get everyone ready interview ready to re-enter the job market. 

There is so much that needs to be done and so little time in which to do it.  If you are getting ready to get back in the swing - here are a few words of advice:

• Get a reliable cell phone service with good reception in all areas - you don't want to be in an area where you might drop the call and lose the job - always get a call back number from the recruiter
• Create an e-mail account that is dedicated to business only e-mails and check it at least every two hours - you want something that is conservative and business-like - makes you seem like you sleep in a suit - please don't use an e-mail account that makes you sound as if your priority is being this year's good time girl!
• Have your friends (or an old teacher, or someone you respect) look over your resume before you send it out - it's easy to make mistakes but this is one time when you really may not get another chance to make an impression
• If you're looking  for a C Suite position, find a headhunter.  You can't do it alone, and the truth is a company is looking for you and they don't know about you, and you are looking for a company and you have no idea this job is available because it isn't posted - most jobs aren't posted - seek help!

Bottomless Closet charity closes after 21 years of helping women

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Theresa Gutierrez
More: Bio, News Team

December 6, 2012 (CHICAGO) (WLS) -- The holidays are the time of year when many charities are asking for more donations and doing their best to help the poor and disadvantaged.

But after 21 years of helping Chicago-area women, The Bottomless Closet has gone out of business.
The Bottomless Closet has served more than 24,000 disadvantaged women providing them with professional attire and career development tools to help thrive in the workforce. The not-for -profit's ceo says the economy forced them to close down.
We decided we could not survive the economic hardships that existed already and hardships that are very likely to happen next year," Bottomless Closet CEO Jude Andrews said.
The spirit of giving is decreasing, according to Andrews. People are not giving the way they used to because they are nervous about the economy, she said.
Non- for profit organizations close down every year, according to economic strategist George Rosenbaum of Leo J. Shapiro and Associates.
Starting Thursday all clients of Bottomless Closet will have continued access to the same programs through Dress for Success Worldwide in Chicago. The two organizations reached an agreement to provide a seamless transition for the disadvantaged women it served.
"We are glad to provide that transition for all their clients and partners so that Chicago women do not have to go without these services," Director of Central Operations for Dress for Success Worldwide Amanda Flott said.
Sierra Brown is being coached by Dress for Success for an upcoming job interview. They are selecting clothes for her along with accessories to help her make a good first impression.
"It feels great to have contact with someone who is going to help you to make sure you look professional and look comfortable and it really is a boost when you are going into an interview," Brown said. "To have encouraging words, the mock interview really boots up your confidence."
Starting on January 1, Dress for Success will be accepting all of the donations at a warehouse located in the former Bottomless Closet store.

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